The Cream of the Jest: A comedy of evasionsCabell, James Branch
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The Cream of the Jest: A comedy of evasions
Cabell, James Branch
Allegories; Authors -- Fiction; Dreams -- Fiction; Fantasy fiction
“And America is going to be the greatest nation in it, before very long,
commercially and in every way....”
So the talk flowed on, with Felix Kennaston contributing very little
thereto. Indeed, Felix Kennaston, the dreamer, was rather ill-at-ease
among these men of action, and listened to their observations with
perturbed attention. He sat among the great ones of earth—not all of
them the very greatest, of course, but each a person of quite
respectable importance. It was the sort of gathering that in boyhood—and
in later life also, for that matter—he had foreplanned to thrill and
dazzle, as he perfectly recollected. But now, with the opportunity, he
somehow could not think of anything quite suitable to say—of anything
which would at once do him justice and be admiringly received.
Therefore he attempted to even matters by assuring himself that the talk
of these efficient people was lacking in brilliance and real depth, and
expressed sentiments which, microscopically viewed, did not appear to be
astoundingly original. If these had been less remarkable persons he
would have thought their conversation almost platitudinous. And not one
of these much-talked-about men, whatever else he might have done, could
have written _Men Who Loved Alison_! Kennaston cherished that reflection
as he sedately partook of a dish he recollected to have seen described,
on menu cards, as “Hungarian goulash” and sipped sherry of no very
extraordinary flavor....
He was to remember how plain the fare was, and more than once, was to
refer to this meal—quite casually—beginning “That reminds me of what
Such-an-one said once, when I was lunching with him,” or perhaps, “The
last time I lunched with So-and-so, I remember—” With such gambits he
was able, later on, to introduce to us of Lichfield several anecdotes
which, if rather pointless, were at least garnished with widely-known
names.
There was a Cabinet meeting that afternoon, and luncheon ended, the
personage wasted scant time in dismissing his guests.
“It has been a very great pleasure to meet you, Mr. Kennaston,” quoth
the personage, wringing Kennaston’s hand.
Kennaston suitably gave him to understand that they shared ecstasy in
common.
“Those portions of your book relating to the sigil of Scoteia struck me
as being too explicit,” the personage continued, bluffly, but in lowered
tones. The two stood now, beneath a great stuffed elk’s head, a little
apart from the others. “Do you think it was quite wise? I seem to recall
a phrase—about birds—”
But Kennaston’s thoughts were vaguely dental. And there is no denying
Kennaston was astounded. Nor was he less puzzled when, as if in answer
to Kennaston’s bewildered look, the personage produced from his
waistcoat pocket a small square mirror, which he half-exhibited, but
retained secretively in the palm of his hand. “Yes, the hurt may well be
two-fold—I am presupposing that, as a country-gentleman, you have raised
white pigeons, Mr. Kennaston?” he said, meaningly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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