He paused.
"At the present moment there's hardly any one--of our generation, mind
you--who counts except you and I."
He paused again.
"If you and I have done anything decent it's because, first of all, our
families have cast us off."
"Mine hasn't yet."
"It's only a question of time if you go on," said Tanqueray.
He had never seen Jane's family. He knew vaguely that her father was the
rector of a small parish in Dorset, and that he had had two wives in
such rapid succession that their effect from a distance, so Tanqueray
said, was scandalously simultaneous. The rector, indeed, had married his
first wife for the sake of a child, and his second for the child's sake.
He had thus achieved a younger family so numerous that it had kept him
from providing properly for Jane. It was what Tanqueray called the
"consecrated immorality" of Jane's father that had set Jane free.
Tanqueray's father was a retired colonel. A man of action, of rash and
inconsiderate action, he regarded Tanqueray with a disapproval so warm
and generous that it left the young man freer, if anything, than Jane.
"Anyhow," he went on, "we haven't let ourselves be drawn in. And yet
that's our temptation, yours and mine."
Again he paused.
"If we were painters or musicians we should be safer. Their art draws
them by one divine sense. Ours drags us by the heart and brain, by the
very soul, into the thick of it. _The_ unpardonable sin is separating
literature from life. You know that as well as I do."
She did. She worked divinely, shaping unashamed the bodies and the souls
of men. There was nothing in contemporary literature to compare with the
serene, inspired audacity of Jane Holland. Her genius seemed to have
kept the transcendent innocence of the days before creation.
Tanqueray continued in his theme. Talking like this allayed his
excitement.
"We're bound," he said, "to get mixed up with people. They're the stuff
we work in. It's almost impossible to keep sinless and detached. We're
being tempted all the time. People--people--people--we can't have enough
of 'em; we can't keep off 'em. The thing is--to keep 'em off us. And
Jane, I _know_--they're getting at you."
She did not deny it. They were.
"And you haven't the--the nerve to stand up against it."
"I have stood up against it."
"You have. So have I. When we were both poor."
"You want me to be poor?"
"I don't want you to be a howling pauper like me, but, well, just
pleasantly short of cash. There's nothing like that for keeping you out
of it."
"You want me to be thoroughly uncomfortable? Deprived of everything that
makes life amusing?"
"Thoroughly uncomfortable. Deprived of everything that stands in the way
of your genius."
She felt a sudden pang of jealousy, a hatred of her genius, this thing
that had been tacked on to her. He cared for it and could be tender to
it, but not to her.
"You're a cruel beast," she said, smiling through her pain.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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