The fingers of her
soul stretched out to clasp a stranger’s hand, and her disquietude
was quickened through with an eagerness which was neither physical
nor mental, for neither her body nor her mind was definitely
interested. Some dim region between these grew alarmed and watched
and waited and did not sleep or grow weary at all.
One morning she lay among the long, warm grasses. She watched
a bird who soared and sang for a little time, and then it sped
swiftly away down the steep air and out of sight in the blue
distance. Even when it was gone the song seemed to ring in her
ears. It seemed to linger with her as a faint, sweet echo, coming
fitfully, with little pauses as though a wind disturbed it, and
careless, distant eddies. After a few moments she knew it was not a
bird. No bird’s song had that consecutive melody, for their themes
are as careless as their wings. She sat up and looked about her,
but there was nothing in sight: the mountains sloped gently above
her and away to the clear sky; around her the scattered clumps of
heather were drowsing in the sunlight; far below she could see her
father’s house, a little grey patch near some trees—and then the
music stopped and left her wondering.
She could not find her goats anywhere although for a long time she
searched. They came to her at last of their own accord from behind
a fold in the hills, and they were more wildly excited than she
had ever seen them before. Even the cows forsook their solemnity
and broke into awkward gambols around her. As she walked home that
evening a strange elation taught her feet to dance. Hither and
thither she flitted in front of the beasts and behind them. Her
feet tripped to a wayward measure. There was a tune in her ears
and she danced to it, throwing her arms out and above her head
and swaying and bending as she went. The full freedom of her body
was hers now: the lightness and poise and certainty of her limbs
delighted her, and the strength that did not tire delighted her
also. The evening was full of peace and quietude, the mellow, dusky
sunlight made a path for her feet, and everywhere through the wide
fields birds were flashing and singing, and she sang with them a
song that had no words and wanted none.
The following day she heard the music again, faint and thin,
wonderfully sweet and as wild as the song of a bird, but it was a
melody which no bird would adhere to. A theme was repeated again
and again. In the middle of trills, grace-notes, runs and catches
it recurred with a strange, almost holy, solemnity,—a hushing,
slender melody full of austerity and aloofness. There was something
in it to set her heart beating. She yearned to it with her ears and
her lips. Was it joy, menace, carelessness? She did not know, but
this she did know, that however terrible it was personal to her.
It was her unborn thought strangely audible and felt rather than
understood.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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