DECALOGUE, n. A series of commandments, ten in number--just enough to permit an intelligent selection for observance, but not enough to embarrass the choice. Following is the revised edition of the Decalogue, calculated for this meridian. Thou shalt no God but me adore: 'T were too expensive to have more. No images nor idols make For Robert Ingersoll to break. Take not God's name in vain; select A time when it will have effect. Work not on Sabbath days at all, But go to see the teams play ball. Honor thy parents. That creates For life insurance lower rates. Kill not, abet not those who kill; Thou shalt not pay thy butcher's bill. Kiss not thy neighbor's wife, unless Thine own thy neighbor doth caress. Don't steal; thou 'lt never thus compete Successfully in business. Cheat. Bear not false witness--that is low-- But "hear't is rumored so and so." Covet thou naught that thou hast not By hook or crook, or somehow, got. DECIDE, v. i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. A leaf was riven from a tree, "I mean to fall to earth," said he. The west wind, rising, made him veer "Eastward," said he, I mean to steer." The east wind rose with greater force. Said he: "'T were wise to change my course." With equal power they contend. He said: "My judgment I suspend." Down died the winds; the leaf, elate, Cried: "I 've decided to fall straight." "First thoughts are best"? That 's not the moral; Just choose your own and we 'll not quarrel. Howe'er your choice may chance to fall, G. J. DEFAME, v. t. To lie about another. To tell the truth about another. DEFENCELESS, adj. Unable to attack. DEGENERATE, adj. Less conspicuously admirable than one's ancestors. The contemporaries of Homer were striking examples of degeneracy; it required ten of them to raise a rock or a riot that one of the heroes of the Trojan war could have raised with ease. Homer never tires of sneering at the "men who live in these degenerate days," which is perhaps why they suffered him to beg his bread-- a marked instance of returning good for evil, by the way, for if they had forbidden him he would certainly have starved. DEGRADATION, n. One of the stages of moral and social progress from private station to political preferment. DEINOTHERIUM, n. An extinct pachyderm that flourished when the Pterodactyl was in fashion. The latter was a native of Ireland, its name being pronounced Terry Dactyl or Peter O'Dactyl, as the man pronouncing it may chance to have heard it spoken or seen it printed. DEJEUNER, n. The breakfast of an American who has been in Paris. Variously pronounced. DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets. DELIBERATION, n. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.