DOG, n. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship. This Divine Being in some of his smaller and silkier incarnations takes, in the affection of Woman, the place to which there is no human male aspirant. The Dog is a survival--an anachronism. He toils not, neither does he spin, yet Solomon in all his glory never lay upon a door-mat all day long, sunsoaked and fly-fed and fat, while his master worked for the means wherewith to purchase an idle wag of the Solomonic tail, seasoned with a look of tolerant recognition. DRAGOON, n. A soldier who combines steadiness and dash in so equal measure that he makes his advances on foot and his retreats on horseback. DRAMATIST, n. One who adapts plays from the French. DRUIDS, n. Priests and ministers of an ancient Celtic religion which did not disdain to employ the humble allurement of human sacrifice. Very little is now known about the Druids and their faith. Pliny says their religion, originating in Britain, spread eastward as far as Persia. Cæsar says those who desired to study its mysteries went to Britain. Cæsar himself went to Britain, but does not appear to have obtained any high preferment in the Druidical Church, although his talent for human sacrifice was considerable. Druids performed their religious rites in groves, and knew nothing of church mortgages and the seasonticket system of pew rents. They were, in short, heathens and--as they were once complacently catalogued by a distinguished prelate of the Church of England-- "Dissenters." DUCK-BILL, n. Your account at your restaurant during the canvass-back season. DUEL, n. A formal ceremony preliminary to the reconciliation of two enemies. Great skill is necessary to its satisfactory observance; if awkwardly performed the most unexpected and deplorable consequences sometimes ensue. A long time ago a man lost his life in a duel. That dueling's a gentlemanly vice I hold; and wish that it had been my lot To live my life out in some favored spot-- Some country where it is considered nice To split a rival like a Ash, or slice A husband like a spud, or with a shot Bring down a debtor doubled in a knot And ready to be put upon the ice. Some miscreants there are, whom I do long To shoot, or stab, or some such way reclaim The scurvy rogues to better lives and manners. I seem to see them now--a mighty throng. It looks as if to challenge <i>me</i> they came, Jauntily marching with brass bands and banners! Xamba Dar.