English language -- Dictionaries -- Humor; English language -- Semantics -- Humor; Vocabulary -- Humor
FAIRY, n. A creature, variously fashioned and endowed, that formerly
inhabited the meadows and forests. It was nocturnal in its habits, and
somewhat addicted to dancing and theft of children. The fairies are now
believed by naturalists to be extinct, though a clergyman of the Church
of England saw three near Colchester as lately as 1855, while passing
through a park after dining with the lord of the manor. The sight
greatly staggered him, and he was so affected that his account of it was
incoherent. In the year 1807 a troop of fairies visited a wood near Aix
and carried off the daughter of a peasant, who had been seen to enter
it with a bundle of clothing. The son of a wealthy bourgeois disappeared
about the same time, but afterward returned. He had seen the abduction
and been in pursuit of the fairies. Justinian Gaux, a writer of the
fourteenth century, avers that so great is the fairies' power of
transformation that he saw one change itself into two opposing armies
and fight a battle with great slaughter, and that the next day, after it
had resumed its original shape and gone away, there were seven hundred
bodies of the slain which the villagers had to bury. He does not say if
any of the wounded recovered. In the time of Henry III, of England,
a law was made which prescribed the death penalty for "Kyllynge,
wowndynge, or mamynge" a fairy, and it was universally respected.
FAITH, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks
without knowledge of things without parallel.
FAMOUS, adj. Conspicuously miserable.
Done to a turn on the iron, behold
Him who to be famous aspired.
Content? Well, his grill has a plating of gold,
And his twistings are greatly admired.
Hassan Brubuddy.
FASHION, n. A deity whom the wise ridicule, yet the discreet obey.
A king there was who lost an eye
In some excess of passion;
And straight his courtiers all did try
To follow the new fashion.
Each dropped one eyelid when before
The throne he ventured, thinking
'T would please the king. That monarch swore
He'd slay them all for winking.
What should they do? They were not hot
To hazard such disaster;
They dared not close an eye--dared not
See better than their master.
Seeing them lacrymose and glum,
A leech consoled the weepers:
He spread small rags with liquid gum
And covered half their peepers.
The court all wore the stuff, the flame
Of royal anger dying.
That 's how court-plaster got its name
Unless I'm greatly lying.
Naramy Oof.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account