Male friendship -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
David struggled with what he deemed his impotence. He was not very
bright, he feared. Perhaps he failed to feel the stupidity of men
because himself was stupid. Tom would not tell him that. A wave of the
need of giving welled about him. He was warm and relaxed within this
element whose indeterminate grain moved him toward Tom.... He relaxed.
The same easeless stir, moving to stiffen him back, poison this
sweetness, to make him one again with his threatened solitude. David
struggled for the quickening of himself in self-bestowal. Tom sat in
darkness, bitter, hard, his will a clenched fist over his body. With a
strain so true that the muscles in his neck stood out, he strove to turn
away from his loved friend.
But his hand went forth: his knotted hand that seemed beaten by the
weathers of life went forth as on a journey hazardous even to its
wisdom. It tremored close to the hand of David ... the warmth of the
young hand made it cold.
A sharp shrill voice that sounded a shriek in the darkness.
“Let’s have a light,” Tom jumped up.
In the yellow of the gas, David sat blinking. Tom was all movement. He
flung off his shoes, put on another pair. He changed his necktie. He
hung away his house coat. He stood dressed for the street.
“I must be off,” he declared. “Which way do you go?”
He was decreased to a more comfortable pitch by this let of energy: he
came to David; with both hands half-helped him from his seat.
They had been long in darkness: in darkness some strange light from each
had played upon them. Now at the mundane level of the gas-lamp, they
stood and needed to look into each other. Their eyes were venturesome,
but their darts of laughter proved them timid. They stirred: their
bodies and their minds: swerving away. As if they dangled loose from one
another and were close-fastened only by their eyes....
* * * * *
David walked yearnful through the City. It seemed sure to him that his
heart was empty. He cared for no one. He was a speck caught in a petty
whirl that gulfed him quite as whole as if an ocean had risen to immerse
him. Happenings of the day and of all other days lay in the back of his
head in a shadowed corner where he flung what he was too weary to
dispose of: the corner of a curiously cluttered room that had no dear
thing in it. So, walking the wild City, it was to David.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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