Male friendship -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
She was a little huddled on the couch. A faint flush on her cheek and
her brow. Her hands half clasped on her lap. Her sharp shoulders rounded
forward. She was magical and helpless. David was strong against her. A
pity came to him that she was so sweet and so resistless beneath his
towering brutality. It was the pity that was sweet and was resistless.
Feeling aggrieved for her that she sat there prostrate, he felt that he
forgave her, that he loved her, and how by this love she must at once be
saved. It was needful to go forth and hold her for her own sake. Lest
she believe he had sullied her, lest she fear he did not know what this
was between them. To herself as to him it was needful that what had come
to pass be good.
He no longer saw her. He was full of the wonder of her sweetness and of
his pity. He was full of the wonder of that she was a woman and given up
to him. He drew all of her against him....
* * * * *
He knew he was walking homeward. The familiar streets whipped past, the
world swung like a sea over the horizon and swept backward above his
head. He walked because it had been impossible to sit cramped and still
in a car. He had to race with his emotions, else something had broken in
him. Calmer he said to himself:
“Why go home? You’re not sleepy.”
He did not know where to go. A garish coldness, the rancid cutting of
alcohol across the sidewalk--a saloon. It appealed to him as a challenge
to an ebullient giant. He entered. He needed to whet the brilliant
splendor of his mood against what was most sordid and drear in all the
world. He went up to the bar and ordered a drink and let it stand,
unable to bring its desecration to his consecrated lips. He was
throbbing gently as if he had run and won a race:--these were remnants
of energy to be disposed of.
The place reeled a bit and then closed in on him. Several fellows sagged
at his side by the bar. One was talking:
“I guv’ him hell. Y’ort to ’a’ seen me guv’ him hell.”
The barkeeper went over the bar with a wet rag and it gleamed. He
looked in the mirror at his thick face above the serried bottles with
undisguised affection. He took a comb from his white vest and parted his
hair afresh in its oily middle. He loved that face. He leaned back and
was lost in love and contemplation. Through a side door, two women loose
over a naked table. Their faces were paste, their eyes were red-rimmed
above two little glasses of whiskey.
“I love her. I love her. I must love her. Why does she love me? Why do I
never understand?” The wonder of the world was as remote from his mind
as his thoughts from this naked room with its hard wood and faces, its
brittle bottles.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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