Male friendship -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
The truth was, indeed, that Tom could be insincere: deeply so, never.
His insincerity was superficial. It could come into play the world over:
it went like a mist before the sun of their friendship. David must learn
a difficult thing: to believe his friend when he spoke truth, to be
unshaken when he scattered counterfeits. Was not the reason plain
enough? Tom was sensitive beyond measure. As no one else he felt the
scorn of life, the scorn of human imperfection. Among the false works of
man he had to move about, to hunt and earn his living. Tom’s passionate
disgust for the Law! How his too fine sensibilities were agonized by the
Law’s lying ugliness: so that his native pleasure in its practice went
and he had no eyes for the Law’s better side. Or, if he did have
pleasure in the game--and he must while he played it--how quick it died
away before the soreness of his nerves! Tom could not admit of the need
of life’s imperfections: not face the imperfections in himself. Yes:
that was it. When these imperfections called for their hour of air, they
simply cast the real Tom out where he would not interfere. That was why
the love of power and applause, when it did come to Tom, came like
intoxication, overwhelmed him so that David looked in vain for his
scornful and uncompromising friend. Now David would look in vain no
longer. In the very perfection of Tom’s worldliness, he saw the measure
of his contempt. As if Tom said: Here, my fools, you want me to dazzle
you and play you? You shall have your fill. You have no interest in my
real thoughts, my real self? You shall have no peep at them. The more,
now, Tow hid himself, the more David found him.
All this David discovered for himself. All this, in many conversations,
hinted or thrust sharply in, Tom had been preparing him to think.
Tom--and an April sun upon the seed of himself....
David glowed.... What marvel what difference there could be in the same
things! His cable-car flung grating shrieking on the corner: an
adventurous jest which once was an ugly jolt against the tempo of his
way.
The City!--the miraculous City! No trees, no fresh sod greening: an
ailanthus bursting here and there through cracks--gray cold--in the
pavements. But men and women in the streets! Now he saw what teeming
creatures these were, the streets and their women.
Streets and women big with laughter and children. Teeming streets,
teeming women.
It was hard to recall how dead he had been that winter. It was hard to
recall the streets. Gray mournful fissures they were, cracks by the cold
upon the flint of a barren star: ruts in the crust of a dead world. Upon
them the chill refuse of chaos was cast down. Soiled snow, soiled
creatures. They crawled from their crannies and over-ran them. They bore
in their eyes the Sign of exile in chaos.
Now different streets--budding teeming streets: different himself,
glowing through packed streets.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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