_Rat-catcher_ (_greatly relieved_). It was. (_Getting up._) Let's have Archie on, and see if he can amuse them a bit more. (_Aloud._) I must finish my tale anon. Stay here, sweet child, what time I fetch my trusty terrier. (_Exit._) _Maid_. 'Tis a strange story he tells. How different from my own simple life. Born of proud but morbid parents.... _Archie_. What's up? Stick to it. _Me_. Have you got such a thing as a trusty terrier on you? _Archie_ (_feeling up his sleeve_). No. _Me_. Well, the audience will be extremely disappointed if I don't bring one back. I practically promised them I would. Look here, why don't you come on and help? Everybody is getting horribly bored with us. _Archie_ (_delightedly_). Oh, all right. _Enter _Rat-catcher_ and Conjuror_. _Maid_. But behold he returns _again_! _Rat-catcher_ (_excitedly_). Great news, fair lady, which this long-legged, scurvy fellow I told you of will impart to us. _Maid_. Why, 'tis the Conjuror. Have you news for us, sir? _Conjuror_ (_with no illusions about the Oriental style_). Absolutely stop press. What is it you want to know? Racing? The Bong Selling Plate was won by Proboscis, McSimp up. Immense enthusiasm. Bank rate unchanged--quite right this cold weather. Excuse me a moment, sir, your moustache is coming off. No, the left wing--allow me to lend you a postage stamp. Do you prefer red or green? _Maid_ (_biting her lip_). Will you not give us news of the Emperor? _Conjuror_. I will. His Majesty has met with a severe accident whilst out hunting this morning, being bitten by a buffalo. _Maid_. Alas, what will my mistress say? _Conjuror_. She has already said everything that was necessary. Her actual words were: "Just like Bong." _Rat-catcher_ (_seizing the opportunity_). His Majesty ordered me to meet him here at noon. Methinks I had better withdraw and return anon. (_Makes off hurriedly._) _Conjuror_ (_seizing him_). Not so. He bade me command you to stay and sing to us. (_Sensation._) _Rat-catcher_ (_huskily_). Alas, I have forgotten my voice--that is, I have left my music at home. I will go and fetch it. (_Has another dash._) _Conjuror_. Stay! Listen! (_They all listen._) _Simpson_ (_in wings_). Thanks, thanks, that will be all right now. Oh no, quite, thanks. Oh, is this your key? Thanks, thanks. No, it doesn't matter about the other ones, they don't feel at all uncomfortable, thanks. Yes, I think it really did stop it, thanks. _Conjuror_. I'm off! (_Aloud._) His Majesty has regained consciousness. (_Exit._) _Simpson_ (_apologetically_). Oh, Archie, I've got the billiard-room key in my---- _Rat-catcher_ (_very loudly to _Maid__). Hush, here he comes! (_They salaam._) (_Enter the Emperor Bong._) CHAPTER VI THE CURTAIN GOES DOWN "Ladies and gentlemen," said Simpson at the supper-table, glass in hand, "it is my pleasant duty----" "Bother!" murmured Myra. "Drinking healths always makes me feel funny."