English fiction -- 20th century; English wit and humor; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English; Sports stories
"Silence for McSimp," shouted Archie. "Now then, pass along there,
please. There's no need to push, you'll all be able to hear.
Gentlemen, the O'Sumph is addressing us impromptu, not to say
unasked."
"It is my pleasant duty," continued Simpson, "as your late Emperor
(_Half-an-hour-late. How's the probosc?_), to propose the health of
the Rabbits Dramatic Company. (_Hooray!_) Great as we are on the
cricket-field (_Wide!_)--great, I say, as we are on the cricket-field
(_Pitch 'em up, Simpson_), we are, I think, still greater in the
halls of Thespis. (_Don't know the lady._) Gentlemen, I knew
Irving. (_Liar!_) I have heard tell of Garrick (_Good! Ever heard
of Shakespeare?_), but to-night has been a new experience for me.
(_I will--give you--the kee--eys of----._) Ladies and gentlemen, I
propose our very good healths, coupled with the name of our hostess
Miss Mannering." (_Loud Cheers._)
"That's me," said Myra.
"I single out Miss Mannering," added Simpson, "because I'm sure we
should all like to hear her make a speech."
"Oh, Samuel," said Myra, shaking her head at him, "and I thought it
was because you loved me."
"The Rabbits! Myra!" we cried.
"Miss Mannering will now address you," announced Archie. "She will
be glad to answer any questions afterwards; but anyone who interrupts
will be hurled out. I appeal to you, as Englishmen, to give her a
fair hearing."
Myra stood on a chair, looking lovely, but very lonely, and waited
till we were silent.
"My dear good friends," she began, and then she caught Thomas's eye.
"Hallo, Tommy," she said wistfully.... "My dear good friends, but
why should you say _I'm_ a jolly good fellow, when it isn't my
birthday or anything? But how _silly_ of you! Why, of course, we're
_all_ jolly good fellows--and jolly good actors too. It _has_ been
fun, hasn't it? ... Oh, Archie, dear.... I hope we shall all be
here in the summer, don't you? Well, you can't very well say you
don't, now I've asked you, can you? You'll have to pretend your
uncles are very ill, and then you needn't come.... Oh,
_please--don't_ look at me like that, you make me want to cry, and I
only want to laugh to-night.... Archie, may I get down?"
"She _is_ a dear," Dahlia whispered to me. "How you can go on----"
It was Simpson who saved the situation and made us merry and bright
again. He hastily trotted out the suggestion that we should tour the
country in the summer, playing cricket in the day and _Bong the
Second_ at night. Archie backed him up at once.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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