I want you to come and see me have my bath. Mother asks all her friends, so why shouldn't I ask mine? Of course, I would rather keep it private, but if mother is going to make a show of it we may as well have the right people there. Do you know, uncle, they actually do it in a _basin_, although there's a proper bath just next door! I know I'm small, but is it quite fair always to be harping on the fact? (Twice a day, if you will believe me.) Of course, mother and nurse are only women, and they wouldn't understand this. But I am sure you, uncle, would be more careful of people's feelings. I am sorry, dear, but I don't think I shall be able to marry either Mr Hutchings or Mr Woolley; you see they _are_ rather old for me, _aren't_ they? Mother told me yesterday that there is a dear little boy of four or five playing about somewhere, who will come for me one day and take me right away from her and father. _Fancy_! What fun! About my name. Well, I'm afraid it will have to be _Marjorie_ after all. Of course, I should prefer it to be _Margery_, but mother assures me that the owner of the name is _never_ consulted, so I can't say anything. But I will always be Margery to you, and we won't say anything more about it to the others. Do you see, dear? And now I must say good-bye, as mother says I want to go to sleep. She is writing this for me, and some of the things she didn't want to say at all, but I threatened her with my joke, and then she did. But we both send our love. Your affectionate niece, MARGERY P.S. 1.--I was weighed yesterday. I weigh quite a lot of pounds. P.S. 2.--Come to-morrow at four, and I will show you my toes. MARGERY'S SOCK CHAPTER I When Margery was three months old I wrote a letter to her mother: "DEAR MADAM,--If you have a copy in Class D at 1s. 10d. net, I shall be glad to hear from you. I am, THE BABY'S UNCLE" On Tuesday I got an answer by the morning post: "DEAR SIR,--In reply to yours: How dare you insult my child? She is in Class A1, priceless, and bought in by the owner. Four months old and two days on Christmas Day. Fancy! I am, "THE BABY'S MOTHER" Margery had been getting into an expensive way of celebrating her birthday every week. Hitherto I had ignored it. But now I wrote: "DEAR MADAM,--Automatically your baby should be in Class D by now. I cannot understand why it is not so. Perhaps I shall hear from you later on with regard to this. Meanwhile I think that the extraordinary coincidence (all but two days) of the baby's birthday with Christmas Day calls for some recognition on my part. What would Margery like? You, who are in constant communication with her, should be able to tell me. I hear coral necklaces well spoken of. What do you think? I remember reading once of a robber who 'killed a little baby for the coral on its neck'--which shows at any rate that they are worn. Do you know how coral reefs are made? It is a most fascinating business.