“That’s so,” Naomi remarked when I had repeated the words. “I couldn’t
help starting when I heard what Silas had said; and I thought you
noticed me.”
“I did notice you.”
“Did you wonder what it meant?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll tell you. It meant this: What Silas Meadowcroft said to his
brother of John Jago was what I myself was thinking of John Jago at
that very moment. It startled me to find my own thought in a man’s mind
spoken for me by a man. I am the person, sir, who has driven John Jago
away from Morwick Farm; and I am the person who can and will bring him
back again.”
There was something in her manner, more than in her words, which let
the light in suddenly on my mind.
“You have told me the secret,” I said. “John Jago is in love with you.”
“Mad about me!” she rejoined, dropping her voice to a whisper. “Stark,
staring mad!--that’s the only word for him. After we had taken a few
turns on the gravel-walk, he suddenly broke out like a man beside
himself. He fell down on his knees; he kissed my gown, he kissed my
feet; he sobbed and cried for love of me. I’m not badly off for
courage, sir, considering I’m a woman. No man, that I can call to mind,
ever really scared me before. But I own John Jago frightened me; oh my!
he did frighten me! My heart was in my mouth, and my knees shook under
me. I begged and prayed of him to get up and go away. No; there he
knelt, and held by the skirt of my gown. The words poured out from him
like--well, like nothing I can think of but water from a pump. His
happiness and his life, and his hopes in earth and heaven, and Lord
only knows what besides, all depended, he said, on a word from me. I
plucked up spirit enough at that to remind him that I was promised to
Ambrose. ‘I think you ought to be ashamed of yourself,’ I said, ‘to own
that you’re wicked enough to love me when you know I am promised to
another man!’ When I spoke to him he took a new turn; he began abusing
Ambrose. _That_ straightened me up. I snatched my gown out of his hand,
and I gave him my whole mind. ‘I hate you!’ I said. ‘Even if I wasn’t
promised to Ambrose, I wouldn’t marry you--no! not if there wasn’t
another man left in the world to ask me. I hate you, Mr. Jago! I hate
you!’ He saw I was in earnest at last. He got up from my feet, and he
settled down quiet again, all on a sudden. ‘You have said enough’ (that
was how he answered me). ‘You have broken my life. I have no hopes and
no prospects now. I had a pride in the farm, miss, and a pride in my
work; I bore with your brutish cousins’ hatred of me; I was faithful to
Mr. Meadowcroft’s interests; all for your sake, Naomi Colebrook--all
for your sake! I have done with it now; I have done with my life at the
farm. You will never be troubled with me again. I am going away, as the
dumb creatures go when they are sick, to hide myself in a corner, and
die. Do me one last favor. Don’t make me the laughing-stock of the whole
neighborhood. I can’t bear that; it maddens me only to think of it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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