Give me your promise never to tell any living soul what I have said to
you to-night--your sacred promise to the man whose life you have
broken!’ I did as he bade me; I gave him my sacred promise with the
tears in my eyes. Yes, that is so. After telling him I hated him (and I
did hate him), I cried over his misery; I did! Mercy, what fools women
are! What is the horrid perversity, sir, which makes us always ready to
pity the men? He held out his hand to me; and he said, ‘Good-by
forever!’ and I pitied him. I said, ‘I’ll shake hands with you if you
will give me your promise in exchange for mine. I beg of you not to
leave the farm. What will my uncle do if you go away? Stay here, and be
friends with me, and forget and forgive, Mr. John.’ He gave me his
promise (he can refuse me nothing); and he gave it again when I saw him
again the next morning. Yes. I’ll do him justice, though I do hate him!
I believe he honestly meant to keep his word as long as my eye was on
him. It was only when he was left to himself that the Devil tempted him
to break his promise and leave the farm. I was brought up to believe in
the Devil, Mr. Lefrank; and I find it explains many things. It explains
John Jago. Only let me find out where he has gone, and I’ll engage he
shall come back and clear Ambrose of the suspicion which his vile
brother has cast on him. Here is the pen all ready for you. Advertise
for him, friend Lefrank; and do it right away, for my sake!”
I let her run on, without attempting to dispute her conclusions, until
she could say no more. When she put the pen into my hand, I began the
composition of the advertisement as obediently as if I, too, believed
that John Jago was a living man.
In the case of any one else, I should have openly acknowledged that my
own convictions remained unshaken. If no quarrel had taken place at the
lime-kiln, I should have been quite ready, as I viewed the case, to
believe that John Jago’s disappearance was referable to the terrible
disappointment which Naomi had inflicted on him. The same morbid dread
of ridicule which had led him to assert that he cared nothing for
Naomi, when he and Silas had quarreled under my bedroom window, might
also have impelled him to withdraw himself secretly and suddenly from
the scene of his discomfiture. But to ask me to believe, after what had
happened at the lime-kiln, that he was still living, was to ask me to
take Ambrose Meadowcroft’s statement for granted as a true statement of
facts.
I had refused to do this from the first; and I still persisted in
taking that course. If I had been called upon to decide the balance of
probability between the narrative related by Ambrose in his defense and
the narrative related by Silas in his confession, I must have owned, no
matter how unwillingly, that the confession was, to my mind, the least
incredible story of the two.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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