"Well," she said slowly, "after all, that's not the immediate point.
That comes later. The first thing's Kitty's condition. That condition,
as far as I can make it out, is this. You showed yourself clever and
unscrupulous almost beyond belief in one thing, and she found you out in
that; now, I fancy, she thinks there's no end to your cleverness and
unscrupulousness. Positively no end. You're _capable de tout_.... So she
broods. Of course she ought never to have been allowed to live alone....
And she knows she has these--fancies--about you--and so when she's all
right she's quite persuaded they _are_ fancies. And most of the time she
_is_ all right. Then the fits come, and--she's off."
A quick shiver took me. "Do you mean----?" I faltered.
"Violently? Oh no. At the best she's just as she used to be; at the
worst she's merely helpless, a child. Otherwise I should never dare to
have her come and live with me."
"What, you're----?"
"Well, somebody's got to look after her."
"And so you----?"
"She's coming to me next week."
"I see," I said slowly....
Again such a silence fell on us as, after prolonged sound, has an
importunate quality that even sound has not. As if in a dream, I strove
to realise that Evie and Billy Izzard were away over in the Vale of
Health, dozing probably, awaiting my return from the Berkeley. I tried
to understand the plain fact that I was walking the wet streets in the
company of a woman who, judged by ordinary standards, bore a smirched
reputation, and that I had permitted that woman to make, though without
words, a declaration of her love for me. As this last grew on me a
little, I let my mind take that particular bypath of speculation. I
almost forgot her presence by my side in my odds and ends of memories of
her. Once, at a breaking-up party at the old Business College, she had
said to me: "As you don't come to me, I come to you," and at the same
party she had asked me for a cup of coffee, which I had brought to her
in the crowded room instead of giving it to her in some sequestered
corner where we could "sit out." Then other memories came. Memory adding
itself to memory until I had all the leading facts of her story--that
fatal, insignificant, desperate accident--then, mockingly too late, her
love for myself--her so strangely happy life, its fulness now to be
turned into a superabundance by her voluntary taking up the care of a
weak-minded woman--all, all her happy-unhappy story. And now for us to
be thrown together like this! Extraordinary, extraordinary! I fancy we
were somewhere in the neighbourhood of Sloane Square by this
time--Sloane Square, with Evie and Billy waiting for me in the Vale of
Health, and her boy asleep many hours ago!... I smiled, though grimly
enough, as my eyes encountered my own trousers. Those expensive garments
were soaked to the knees. Louie, broken by her day's arduous sitting,
now hung heavily on my arm. Her sleeves lay flat to her arms, and her
skirt held pounds' weight of water.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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