“When the votes was in the hat, the tellers retired to the amusement
room to count up. It took a long time. I see the Conservatives and
Progressives nudgin' each other and winkin' back and forth. Five
minutes, then ten, then fifteen.
“And all of a sudden the biggest row bu'st loose in that amusement room
that ever you heard. Rattlety--bang! Biff! Smash! The door flew open,
and in rolled Bassett and Ellis, all legs and arms. Gabe and some of the
rest hauled 'em apart and held 'em so, but the language them two hove at
each other was enough to bring down a judgment.
“'Gentlemen! gentlemen!' hollers poor Gabe. 'What in the world? I am
astounded! I--'
“'You miserable traitor!' shrieks Gaius, wavin' a fist at Dan.
“'You low-down hound!' whoops Dan back at him.
“'Silence!' bellers Gabe, poundin' thunder storms on the desk. 'Will
some one explain why these maniacs are--Ah, Mr. Gale--thank goodness,
YOU at least are sane!'
“Jotham walks to the front of the platform. He was holdin' the hat and a
slip of paper with the result set down on it.
“'Ladies and feller members,' says he, 'there's been some surprisin'
votin' done in this election. Things ain't gone as we cal'lated they
would, somehow. Mr. Holway, your election wa'n't unanimous, after all.'
“The way he said it made most everybody think Gabe was elected, anyhow,
and I guess Holway thought so himself, for he smiled forgivin' and says:
“'Never mind, Mr. Gale,' says he. 'A unanimous vote was perhaps too much
to expect. Go on.'
“'Yes,' says Jotham. 'Well, here's the way it stands. I'll read it to
you.'
“He fixes his specs and reads like this:
“'Number of votes cast, 32.'
“'Honorable Atkinson Holway has 4.'
“'WHAT?' gasps Stingy Gabe, fallin' into his chair.
“'Yes, sir,' says Jotham. 'It's a shame, I know, but it looks as nobody
voted for you, Mr. Holway, but yourself and me and Dan and Gaius. To
proceed:
“'Daniel Bassett has 9.'
“The Conservatives and their women folks fairly groaned out loud.
Tompkins jumped to his feet, but Jotham held up a hand.
“'Just a moment, D'rius,' he says. 'I ain't through yet.'
“'Gaius Ellis has 9.'
“Then 'twas the Progressives' turn to groan. The racket and hubbub was
gettin' louder all the time.
“'There's ten votes left,' goes on Jotham, 'and they bear the name
of Jotham W. Gale. I can't understand it, but it does appear that I'm
elected president of this 'ere club. Gentlemen, I thank you for the
honor, which is as great as 'tis unexpected.'
“Gabe and the Progressives and the Conservatives set and looked at each
other. And up jumps 'Bije Simmons, and calls for three cheers for the
new president.
“Nobody jined in them cheers but the old billiard room gang; they did,
though, every one of 'em, and Jotham smiled fatherly down on his flock.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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