Diary fiction; England -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Men -- England -- Fiction; Middle class -- Fiction; Suburban life -- Fiction
He said: “Oh, by-the-by, did I tell you I’ve cut my first name,
‘William,’ and taken the second name ‘Lupin’? In fact, I’m only known at
Oldham as ‘Lupin Pooter.’ If you were to ‘Willie’ me there, they
wouldn’t know what you meant.”
Of course, Lupin being a purely family name, Carrie was delighted, and
began by giving a long history of the Lupins. I ventured to say that I
thought William a nice simple name, and reminded him he was christened
after his Uncle William, who was much respected in the City. Willie, in
a manner which I did not much care for, said sneeringly: “Oh, I know all
about that—Good old Bill!” and helped himself to a third glass of port.
Carrie objected strongly to my saying “Good old,” but she made no remark
when Willie used the double adjective. I said nothing, but looked at
her, which meant more. I said: “My dear Willie, I hope you are happy
with your colleagues at the Bank.” He replied: “Lupin, if you please;
and with respect to the Bank, there’s not a clerk who is a gentleman, and
the ‘boss’ is a cad.” I felt so shocked, I could say nothing, and my
instinct told me there was something wrong.
AUGUST 6, Bank Holiday.—As there was no sign of Lupin moving at nine
o’clock, I knocked at his door, and said we usually breakfasted at
half-past eight, and asked how long would he be? Lupin replied that he
had had a lively time of it, first with the train shaking the house all
night, and then with the sun streaming in through the window in his eyes,
and giving him a cracking headache. Carrie came up and asked if he would
like some breakfast sent up, and he said he could do with a cup of tea,
and didn’t want anything to eat.
Lupin not having come down, I went up again at half-past one, and said we
dined at two; he said he “would be there.” He never came down till a
quarter to three. I said: “We have not seen much of you, and you will
have to return by the 5.30 train; therefore you will have to leave in an
hour, unless you go by the midnight mail.” He said: “Look here, Guv’nor,
it’s no use beating about the bush. I’ve tendered my resignation at the
Bank.”
For a moment I could not speak. When my speech came again, I said: “How
dare you, sir? How dare you take such a serious step without consulting
me? Don’t answer me, sir!—you will sit down immediately, and write a
note at my dictation, withdrawing your resignation and amply apologising
for your thoughtlessness.”
Imagine my dismay when he replied with a loud guffaw: “It’s no use. If
you want the good old truth, I’ve got the chuck!”
AUGUST 7.—Mr. Perkupp has given me leave to postpone my holiday a week,
as we could not get the room. This will give us an opportunity of trying
to find an appointment for Willie before we go. The ambition of my life
would be to get him into Mr. Perkupp’s firm.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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