Diary fiction; England -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Men -- England -- Fiction; Middle class -- Fiction; Suburban life -- Fiction
AUGUST 24.—Simply to please Lupin, and make things cheerful for him, as
he is a little down, Carrie invited Mrs. James to come up from Sutton and
spend two or three days with us. We have not said a word to Lupin, but
mean to keep it as a surprise.
AUGUST 25.—Mrs. James, of Sutton, arrived in the afternoon, bringing with
her an enormous bunch of wild flowers. The more I see of Mrs. James the
nicer I think she is, and she is devoted to Carrie. She went into
Carrie’s room to take off her bonnet, and remained there nearly an hour
talking about dress. Lupin said he was not a bit surprised at Mrs.
James’ _visit_, but was surprised at _her_.
AUGUST 26, Sunday.—Nearly late for church, Mrs. James having talked
considerably about what to wear all the morning. Lupin does not seem to
get on very well with Mrs. James. I am afraid we shall have some trouble
with our next-door neighbours who came in last Wednesday. Several of
their friends, who drive up in dog-carts, have already made themselves
objectionable.
An evening or two ago I had put on a white waistcoat for coolness, and
while walking past with my thumbs in my waistcoat pockets (a habit I
have), one man, seated in the cart, and looking like an American,
commenced singing some vulgar nonsense about “_I had thirteen dollars in
my waistcoat pocket_.” I fancied it was meant for me, and my suspicions
were confirmed; for while walking round the garden in my tall hat this
afternoon, a “throw-down” cracker was deliberately aimed at my hat, and
exploded on it like a percussion cap. I turned sharply, and am positive
I saw the man who was in the cart retreating from one of the bedroom
windows.
AUGUST 27.—Carrie and Mrs. James went off shopping, and had not returned
when I came back from the office. Judging from the subsequent
conversation, I am afraid Mrs. James is filling Carrie’s head with a lot
of nonsense about dress. I walked over to Gowing’s and asked him to drop
in to supper, and make things pleasant.
Carrie prepared a little extemporised supper, consisting of the remainder
of the cold joint, a small piece of salmon (which I was to refuse, in
case there was not enough to go round), and a blanc-mange and custards.
There was also a decanter of port and some jam puffs on the sideboard.
Mrs. James made us play rather a good game of cards, called “Muggings.”
To my surprise, in fact disgust, Lupin got up in the middle, and, in a
most sarcastic tone, said: “Pardon me, this sort of thing is too fast for
me, I shall go and enjoy a quiet game of marbles in the back-garden.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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