Diary fiction; England -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Men -- England -- Fiction; Middle class -- Fiction; Suburban life -- Fiction
In the evening we went round to the Cummings’, to have a few fireworks.
It began to rain, and I thought it rather dull. One of my squibs would
not go off, and Gowing said: “Hit it on your boot, boy; it will go off
then.” I gave it a few knocks on the end of my boot, and it went off
with one loud explosion, and burnt my fingers rather badly. I gave the
rest of the squibs to the little Cummings’ boy to let off.
Another unfortunate thing happened, which brought a heap of abuse on my
head. Cummings fastened a large wheel set-piece on a stake in the ground
by way of a grand finale. He made a great fuss about it; said it cost
seven shillings. There was a little difficulty in getting it alight. At
last it went off; but after a couple of slow revolutions it stopped. I
had my stick with me, so I gave it a tap to send it round, and,
unfortunately, it fell off the stake on to the grass. Anybody would have
thought I had set the house on fire from the way in which they stormed at
me. I will never join in any more firework parties. It is a ridiculous
waste of time and money.
NOVEMBER 7.—Lupin asked Carrie to call on Mrs. Mutlar, but Carrie said
she thought Mrs. Mutlar ought to call on her first. I agreed with
Carrie, and this led to an argument. However, the matter was settled by
Carrie saying she could not find any visiting cards, and we must get some
more printed, and when they were finished would be quite time enough to
discuss the etiquette of calling.
NOVEMBER 8.—I ordered some of our cards at Black’s, the stationers. I
ordered twenty-five of each, which will last us for a good long time. In
the evening, Lupin brought in Harry Mutlar, Miss Mutlar’s brother. He
was rather a gawky youth, and Lupin said he was the most popular and best
amateur in the club, referring to the “Holloway Comedians.” Lupin
whispered to us that if we could only “draw out” Harry a bit, he would
make us roar with laughter.
At supper, young Mutlar did several amusing things. He took up a knife,
and with the flat part of it played a tune on his cheek in a wonderful
manner. He also gave an imitation of an old man with no teeth, smoking a
big cigar. The way he kept dropping the cigar sent Carrie into fits.
In the course of conversation, Daisy’s name cropped up, and young Mutlar
said he would bring his sister round to us one evening—his parents being
rather old-fashioned, and not going out much. Carrie said we would get
up a little special party. As young Mutlar showed no inclination to go,
and it was approaching eleven o’clock, as a hint I reminded Lupin that he
had to be up early to-morrow. Instead of taking the hint, Mutlar began a
series of comic imitations. He went on for an hour without cessation.
Poor Carrie could scarcely keep her eyes open. At last she made an
excuse, and said “Good-night.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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