Diary fiction; England -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Men -- England -- Fiction; Middle class -- Fiction; Suburban life -- Fiction
Mutlar then left, and I heard him and Lupin whispering in the hall
something about the “Holloway Comedians,” and to my disgust, although it
was past midnight, Lupin put on his hat and coat, and went out with his
new companion.
NOVEMBER 9.—My endeavours to discover who tore the sheets out of my diary
still fruitless. Lupin has Daisy Mutlar on the brain, so we see little
of him, except that he invariably turns up at meal times. Cummings
dropped in.
NOVEMBER 10.—Lupin seems to like his new berth—that’s a comfort. Daisy
Mutlar the sole topic of conversation during tea. Carrie almost as full
of it as Lupin. Lupin informs me, to my disgust, that he has been
persuaded to take part in the forthcoming performance of the “Holloway
Comedians.” He says he is to play Bob Britches in the farce, _Gone to my
Uncle’s_; Frank Mutlar is going to play old Musty. I told Lupin pretty
plainly I was not in the least degree interested in the matter, and
totally disapproved of amateur theatricals. Gowing came in the evening.
NOVEMBER 11.—Returned home to find the house in a most disgraceful
uproar, Carrie, who appeared very frightened, was standing outside her
bedroom, while Sarah was excited and crying. Mrs. Birrell (the
charwoman), who had evidently been drinking, was shouting at the top of
her voice that she was “no thief, that she was a respectable woman, who
had to work hard for her living, and she would smack anyone’s face who
put lies into her mouth.” Lupin, whose back was towards me, did not hear
me come in. He was standing between the two women, and, I regret to say,
in his endeavour to act as peacemaker, he made use of rather strong
language in the presence of his mother; and I was just in time to hear
him say: “And all this fuss about the loss of a few pages from a rotten
diary that wouldn’t fetch three-halfpence a pound!” I said, quietly:
“Pardon me, Lupin, that is a matter of opinion; and as I am master of
this house, perhaps you will allow me to take the reins.”
I ascertained that the cause of the row was, that Sarah had accused Mrs.
Birrell of tearing the pages out of my diary to wrap up some kitchen fat
and leavings which she had taken out of the house last week. Mrs.
Birrell had slapped Sarah’s face, and said she had taken nothing out of
the place, as there was “never no leavings to take.” I ordered Sarah
back to her work, and requested Mrs. Birrell to go home. When I entered
the parlour Lupin was kicking his legs in the air, and roaring with
laughter.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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