Diary fiction; England -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Men -- England -- Fiction; Middle class -- Fiction; Suburban life -- Fiction
I turned round suddenly, and then I saw Mr. Perkupp standing half-way in
the door, he having arrived without our knowing it. I beckoned to
Carrie, and we went up to him at once. He would not come right into the
room. I apologised for the foolery, but Mr. Perkupp said: “Oh, it seems
amusing.” I could see he was not a bit amused.
Carrie and I took him downstairs, but the table was a wreck. There was
not a glass of champagne left—not even a sandwich. Mr. Perkupp said he
required nothing, but would like a glass of seltzer or soda water. The
last syphon was empty. Carrie said: “We have plenty of port wine left.”
Mr. Perkupp said, with a smile: “No, thank you. I really require
nothing, but I am most pleased to see you and your husband in your own
home. Good-night, Mrs. Pooter—you will excuse my very short stay, I
know.” I went with him to his carriage, and he said: “Don’t trouble to
come to the office till twelve to-morrow.”
I felt despondent as I went back to the house, and I told Carrie I
thought the party was a failure. Carrie said it was a great success, and
I was only tired, and insisted on my having some port myself. I drank
two glasses, and felt much better, and we went into the drawing-room,
where they had commenced dancing. Carrie and I had a little dance, which
I said reminded me of old days. She said I was a spooney old thing.
CHAPTER X
Reflections. I make another Good Joke. Am annoyed at the constant
serving-up of the “Blanc-Mange.” Lupin expresses his opinion of
Weddings. Lupin falls out with Daisy Mutlar.
NOVEMBER 16.—Woke about twenty times during the night, with terrible
thirst. Finished off all the water in the bottle, as well as half that
in the jug. Kept dreaming also, that last night’s party was a failure,
and that a lot of low people came without invitation, and kept chaffing
and throwing things at Mr. Perkupp, till at last I was obliged to hide
him in the box-room (which we had just discovered), with a bath-towel
over him. It seems absurd now, but it was painfully real in the dream.
I had the same dream about a dozen times.
Carrie annoyed me by saying: “You know champagne never agrees with you.”
I told her I had only a couple of glasses of it, having kept myself
entirely to port. I added that good champagne hurt nobody, and Lupin
told me he had only got it from a traveller as a favour, as that
particular brand had been entirely bought up by a West-End club.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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