Diary fiction; England -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Men -- England -- Fiction; Middle class -- Fiction; Suburban life -- Fiction
He then left the room quickly, and I was not even allowed time or thought
to express a single word of grateful thanks to him. I need not say how
dear Carrie received this joyful news. With perfect simplicity she said:
“At last we shall be able to have a chimney-glass for the back
drawing-room, which we always wanted.” I added: “Yes, and at last you
shall have that little costume which you saw at Peter Robinson’s so
cheap.”
JANUARY 2.—I was in a great state of suspense all day at the office. I
did not like to worry Mr. Perkupp; but as he did not send for me, and
mentioned yesterday that he would see me again to-day, I thought it
better, perhaps, to go to him. I knocked at his door, and on entering,
Mr. Perkupp said: “Oh! it’s you, Mr. Pooter; do you want to see me?” I
said: “No, sir, I thought you wanted to see me!” “Oh!” he replied, “I
remember. Well, I am very busy to-day; I will see you to-morrow.”
JANUARY 3.—Still in a state of anxiety and excitement, which was not
alleviated by ascertaining that Mr. Perkupp sent word he should not be at
the office to-day. In the evening, Lupin, who was busily engaged with a
paper, said suddenly to me: “Do you know anything about _chalk pits_,
Guv.?” I said: “No, my boy, not that I’m aware of.” Lupin said: “Well,
I give you the tip; _chalk pits_ are as safe as Consols, and pay six per
cent. at par.” I said a rather neat thing, viz.: “They may be six per
cent. at _par_, but your _pa_ has no money to invest.” Carrie and I both
roared with laughter. Lupin did not take the slightest notice of the
joke, although I purposely repeated it for him; but continued: “I give
you the tip, that’s all—_chalk pits_!” I said another funny thing: “Mind
you don’t fall into them!” Lupin put on a supercilious smile, and said:
“Bravo! Joe Miller.”
JANUARY 4.—Mr. Perkupp sent for me and told me that my position would be
that of one of the senior clerks. I was more than overjoyed. Mr.
Perkupp added, he would let me know to-morrow what the salary would be.
This means another day’s anxiety; I don’t mind, for it is anxiety of the
right sort. That reminded me that I had forgotten to speak to Lupin
about the letter I received from Mr. Mutlar, senr. I broached the
subject to Lupin in the evening, having first consulted Carrie. Lupin
was riveted to the _Financial News_, as if he had been a born capitalist,
and I said: “Pardon me a moment, Lupin, how is it you have not been to
the Mutlars’ any day this week?”
Lupin answered: “I told you! I cannot stand old Mutlar.”
I said: “Mr. Mutlar writes to me to say pretty plainly that he cannot
stand you!”
Lupin said: “Well, I like his cheek in writing to _you_. I’ll find out
if his father is still alive, and I will write _him_ a note complaining
of _his_ son, and I’ll state pretty clearly that his son is a blithering
idiot!”
I said: “Lupin, please moderate your expressions in the presence of your
mother.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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