Diary fiction; England -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Men -- England -- Fiction; Middle class -- Fiction; Suburban life -- Fiction
APRIL 11.—Mustard-and-cress and radishes not come up yet. To-day was a
day of annoyances. I missed the quarter-to-nine ’bus to the City,
through having words with the grocer’s boy, who for the second time had
the impertinence to bring his basket to the hall-door, and had left the
marks of his dirty boots on the fresh-cleaned door-steps. He said he had
knocked at the side door with his knuckles for a quarter of an hour. I
knew Sarah, our servant, could not hear this, as she was upstairs doing
the bedrooms, so asked the boy why he did not ring the bell? He replied
that he did pull the bell, but the handle came off in his hand.
I was half-an-hour late at the office, a thing that has never happened to
me before. There has recently been much irregularity in the attendance
of the clerks, and Mr. Perkupp, our principal, unfortunately chose this
very morning to pounce down upon us early. Someone had given the tip to
the others. The result was that I was the only one late of the lot.
Buckling, one of the senior clerks, was a brick, and I was saved by his
intervention. As I passed by Pitt’s desk, I heard him remark to his
neighbour: “How disgracefully late some of the head clerks arrive!” This
was, of course, meant for me. I treated the observation with silence,
simply giving him a look, which unfortunately had the effect of making
both of the clerks laugh. Thought afterwards it would have been more
dignified if I had pretended not to have heard him at all. Cummings
called in the evening, and we played dominoes.
APRIL 12.—Mustard-and-cress and radishes not come up yet. Left Farmerson
repairing the scraper, but when I came home found three men working. I
asked the meaning of it, and Farmerson said that in making a fresh hole
he had penetrated the gas-pipe. He said it was a most ridiculous place
to put the gas-pipe, and the man who did it evidently knew nothing about
his business. I felt his excuse was no consolation for the expense I
shall be put to.
In the evening, after tea, Gowing dropped in, and we had a smoke together
in the breakfast-parlour. Carrie joined us later, but did not stay long,
saying the smoke was too much for her. It was also rather too much for
me, for Gowing had given me what he called a green cigar, one that his
friend Shoemach had just brought over from America. The cigar didn’t
look green, but I fancy I must have done so; for when I had smoked a
little more than half I was obliged to retire on the pretext of telling
Sarah to bring in the glasses.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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