“Well!” responded he, closing the manuscript and holding the first
page before the curious eyes of Mme. Greslon, “this is only a work on
philosophy, as he told you. See.”
The mother had a question on her lips, and suspicion in her eyes while
she was reading the technical formula which was unintelligible to her
poor mind. She had observed Adrien Sixte’s hesitation. But she did not
dare to ask, and she rose saying:
“You will excuse me for having kept you so long, monsieur. I have
placed my last hope upon you, and you will not deceive a mother’s
heart. I carry your promise with me.”
“All that it will be possible for me to do that the truth may be
known,” said the philosopher gravely, “I will do, madame, I promise you
again.”
When he had conducted the unhappy woman to the door, and was again
alone in his study Adrien Sixte remained for a long time plunged in
reflection. Taking up the manuscript, he read and reread the sentence
written by the young man, and pushing away the tempting manuscript, he
paced the floor. Twice he seized the sheets and approached the fire,
but he did not throw them into the flames. A combat was going on in his
mind between a devouring curiosity, and apprehensions of very different
kinds. To contract the engagement which this reading would impose on
him, and to learn what could be learned from these pages would throw
him, perhaps, into a horrible situation. If he were going to hold in
his hands the proof of the young man’s innocence without the right
to use it, or what he suspected still more, the proof of his guilt,
what then? Without being conscious of it he trembled in his inmost
nature, lest he find in this memoir if there were crime, the trace of
his own influence, and the cruel accusations already twice formulated,
that his books were mixed up with this sinister history. On the other
hand, the unconscious egoism of studious men who have a horror of all
confusion, forbade him to enter any further into a drama with which he
had definitely nothing to do.
“No,” he concluded, “I will not read this memoir; I will write to this
boy as I have promised the mother to do, then it will be ended.”
However, his dinner had come in the midst of his reflections. He ate
alone, as always, seated in the corner by a porcelain stove, the
weather being very chilly, the heat was his only comfort, and before a
little round table, covered with a piece of oilcloth. The lamp which
served for his work lighted his frugal repast, consisting, as usual, of
soup and one dish of vegetables with some raisins for dessert, and for
drink water alone.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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