B. B. [suddenly rising to the new idea with immense interest and
excitement] What! Ridgeon: did you hear that? Sir Patrick: I am more
struck by what you have just told me than I can well express. Your
father, sir, anticipated a discovery of my own. Listen, Walpole.
Blenkinsop: attend one moment. You will all be intensely interested in
this. I was put on the track by accident. I had a typhoid case and
a tetanus case side by side in the hospital: a beadle and a city
missionary. Think of what that meant for them, poor fellows! Can a
beadle be dignified with typhoid? Can a missionary be eloquent with
lockjaw? No. NO. Well, I got some typhoid anti-toxin from Ridgeon and a
tube of Muldooley's anti-tetanus serum. But the missionary jerked all
my things off the table in one of his paroxysms; and in replacing them I
put Ridgeon's tube where Muldooley's ought to have been. The consequence
was that I inoculated the typhoid case for tetanus and the tetanus
case for typhoid. [The doctors look greatly concerned. B. B., undamped,
smiles triumphantly]. Well, they recovered. THEY RECOVERED. Except for
a touch of St Vitus's dance the missionary's as well to-day as ever; and
the beadle's ten times the man he was.
BLENKINSOP. Ive known things like that happen. They cant be explained.
B. B. [severely] Blenkinsop: there is nothing that cannot be explained
by science. What did I do? Did I fold my hands helplessly and say that
the case could not be explained? By no means. I sat down and used my
brains. I thought the case out on scientific principles. I asked myself
why didnt the missionary die of typhoid on top of tetanus, and the
beadle of tetanus on top of typhoid? Theres a problem for you, Ridgeon.
Think, Sir Patrick. Reflect, Blenkinsop. Look at it without prejudice,
Walpole. What is the real work of the anti-toxin? Simply to stimulate
the phagocytes. Very well. But so long as you stimulate the phagocytes,
what does it matter which particular sort of serum you use for the
purpose? Haha! Eh? Do you see? Do you grasp it? Ever since that Ive used
all sorts of anti-toxins absolutely indiscriminately, with perfectly
satisfactory results. I inoculated the little prince with your stuff,
Ridgeon, because I wanted to give you a lift; but two years ago I
tried the experiment of treating a scarlet fever case with a sample of
hydrophobia serum from the Pasteur Institute, and it answered capitally.
It stimulated the phagocytes; and the phagocytes did the rest. That is
why Sir Patrick's father found that inoculation cured all fevers. It
stimulated the phagocytes. [He throws himself into his chair, exhausted
with the triumph of his demonstration, and beams magnificently on them].
EMMY [looking in] Mr Walpole: your motor's come for you; and it's
frightening Sir Patrick's horses; so come along quick.
WALPOLE [rising] Good-bye, Ridgeon.
RIDGEON. Good-bye; and many thanks.
B. B. You see my point, Walpole?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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