EMMY. He cant wait, Sir Ralph. The carriage will be into the area if he
dont come.
WALPOLE. I'm coming. [To B. B.] Theres nothing in your point:
phagocytosis is pure rot: the cases are all blood-poisoning; and the
knife is the real remedy. Bye-bye, Sir Paddy. Happy to have met you, Mr.
Blenkinsop. Now, Emmy. [He goes out, followed by Emmy].
B. B. [sadly] Walpole has no intellect. A mere surgeon. Wonderful
operator; but, after all, what is operating? Only manual labor.
Brain--BRAIN remains master of the situation. The nuciform sac is utter
nonsense: theres no such organ. It's a mere accidental kink in
the membrane, occurring in perhaps two-and-a-half per cent of the
population. Of course I'm glad for Walpole's sake that the operation
is fashionable; for he's a dear good fellow; and after all, as I always
tell people, the operation will do them no harm: indeed, Ive known the
nervous shake-up and the fortnight in bed do people a lot of good after
a hard London season; but still it's a shocking fraud. [Rising] Well,
I must be toddling. Good-bye, Paddy [Sir Patrick grunts] good-bye,
goodbye. Good-bye, my dear Blenkinsop, good-bye! Goodbye, Ridgeon. Dont
fret about your health: you know what to do: if your liver is sluggish,
a little mercury never does any harm. If you feel restless, try bromide,
If that doesnt answer, a stimulant, you know: a little phosphorus and
strychnine. If you cant sleep, trional, trional, trion--
SIR PATRICK [drily] But no drugs, Colly, remember that.
B. B. [firmly] Certainly not. Quite right, Sir Patrick. As temporary
expedients, of course; but as treatment, no, No. Keep away from the
chemist's shop, my dear Ridgeon, whatever you do.
RIDGEON [going to the door with him] I will. And thank you for the
knighthood. Good-bye.
B. B. [stopping at the door, with the beam in his eye twinkling a
little] By the way, who's your patient?
RIDGEON. Who?
B. B. Downstairs. Charming woman. Tuberculous husband.
RIDGEON. Is she there still?
Emmy [looking in] Come on, Sir Ralph: your wife's waiting in the
carriage.
B. B. [suddenly sobered] Oh! Good-bye. [He goes out almost
precipitately].
RIDGEON. Emmy: is that woman there still? If so, tell her once for all
that I cant and wont see her. Do you hear?
EMMY. Oh, she aint in a hurry: she doesnt mind how long she waits. [She
goes out].
BLENKINSOP. I must be off, too: every half-hour I spend away from my
work costs me eighteenpence. Good-bye, Sir Patrick.
SIR PATRICK. Good-bye. Good-bye.
RIDGEON. Come to lunch with me some day this week.
BLENKINSOP. I cant afford it, dear boy; and it would put me off my own
food for a week. Thank you all the same.
RIDGEON [uneasy at Blenkinsop's poverty] Can I do nothing for you?
BLENKINSOP. Well, if you have an old frock-coat to spare? you see what
would be an old one for you would be a new one for me; so remember the
next time you turn out your wardrobe. Good-bye. [He hurries out].
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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