SIR PAUL. Innocent! Why, hark'ee--come hither, Thy--hark'ee, I had it
from his aunt, my sister Touchwood. Gadsbud, he does not care a farthing
for anything of thee but thy portion. Why, he's in love with my wife. He
would have tantalised thee, and made a cuckold of thy poor father, and
that would certainly have broke my heart. I'm sure, if ever I should
have horns, they would kill me; they would never come kindly--I should
die of 'em like a child that was cutting his teeth--I should indeed,
Thy--therefore come away; but providence has prevented all, therefore
come away when I bid you.
CYNT. I must obey.
SCENE V.
LADY PLYANT, MELLEFONT.
LADY PLYANT. Oh, such a thing! the impiety of it startles me--to wrong
so good, so fair a creature, and one that loves you tenderly--'tis a
barbarity of barbarities, and nothing could be guilty of it--
MEL. But the greatest villain imagination can form, I grant it; and next
to the villainy of such a fact is the villainy of aspersing me with the
guilt. How? which way was I to wrong her? For yet I understand you not.
LADY PLYANT. Why, gads my life, cousin Mellefont, you cannot be so
peremptory as to deny it, when I tax you with it to your face? for now
Sir Paul's gone, you are _corum nobus_.
MEL. By heav'n, I love her more than life or--
LADY PLYANT. Fiddle faddle, don't tell me of this and that, and
everything in the world, but give me mathemacular demonstration; answer
me directly. But I have not patience. Oh, the impiety of it, as I was
saying, and the unparalleled wickedness! O merciful Father! How could
you think to reverse nature so, to make the daughter the means of
procuring the mother?
MEL. The daughter to procure the mother!
LADY PLYANT. Ay, for though I am not Cynthia's own mother, I am her
father's wife, and that's near enough to make it incest.
MEL. Incest! O my precious aunt, and the devil in conjunction.
[_Aside_.]
LADY PLYANT. Oh, reflect upon the horror of that, and then the guilt of
deceiving everybody; marrying the daughter, only to make a cuckold of the
father; and then seducing me, debauching my purity, and perverting me
from the road of virtue in which I have trod thus long, and never made
one trip, not one _faux pas_. Oh, consider it! What would you have to
answer for if you should provoke me to frailty? Alas! humanity is
feeble, heav'n knows! very feeble, and unable to support itself.
MEL. Where am I? is it day? and am I awake? Madam--
LADY PLYANT. And nobody knows how circumstances may happen together. To
my thinking, now I could resist the strongest temptation. But yet I
know, 'tis impossible for me to know whether I could or not; there's no
certainty in the things of this life.
MEL. Madam, pray give me leave to ask you one question.
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