The Drama of Love and Death: A Study of Human Evolution and TransfigurationCarpenter, Edward
Philosophy
The Drama of Love and Death: A Study of Human Evolution and Transfiguration
Carpenter, Edward
Death; Love; Personality
But to return to the subject of pain and suffering. There is something
more in their work than merely to reveal to the lover the extent or the
depth of his own love. They have something surely to do with the inner
realities of the affair, with the moulding or hammering or welding
process whereby union is effected and, in some sense, a new being
created. It seems as if when two naked souls approach, or come anywhere
near contact with each other, the one inevitably burns or scorches the
other. The intense chemistry of the psychic elements produces something
like an actual flame. A fresh combination is entered into, profound
transformations are effected, strange forces liberated, and a new
personality perhaps created; and the accomplishment and evidence of the
whole process is by no means only joy, but agony also, even as
childbirth is.
All one can reasonably do is to endure. It is no good _making a fuss_.
In affairs of the heart what we call suffering corresponds to what we
call labor or effort in affairs of the body. When you put your shoulder
to the cart-wheel you feel the pain and pressure of the effort, but that
assures you that you are exercising a force, that something is being
done; so suffering of the heart assures you that something is being done
in that other and less tangible world. To scold and scowl and blame your
loved one is the stupidest thing you can do. And worse than stupid, it
is useless. For it can only alienate. Probably that other one is
suffering as well as you—possibly more than you, possibly a good deal
less. What does it matter? The suffering is there and must be borne; the
work, whatever it is, is being done; the transformation is being
effected. Do you want your beloved to suffer instead of you, or simply
because you are suffering? Or is it Pity you desire rather than Love.
On the other hand, these things borne in silence have, I believe, an
extraordinary effect. They pull people to you by quite invisible cords.
As I have said, the fact of heart-strain and tension shows that there is
a pressure or pull being exerted somewhere. Though the cord be
invisible, there is someone at the other end (though not perhaps quite
the one you supposed) who responds.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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