"I love beautiful dresses. I think this dress is beautiful. Have you
noticed the line it makes from breast to hem, that long, unbroken line?
I think that line the secret of elegance. In some gowns one sees one has
visions of crushed ribs, don't you think?"
Odd listened respectfully, his mouth twisted a little by that same smile
that he still felt to be painful. "And is not this lace gathered around
the shoulders pretty too?" Hilda turned to him for inspection.
"You will talk about your clothes, but you will not talk about yourself,
Hilda." Odd had put on his eyeglasses and was obediently studying her
gown.
"The lace is mamma's. Poor mamma; I know she is lonely. It does seem
hard to be left alone when other people are enjoying themselves. She has
Meredith's last novel, however. I began it with her. Mr. Odd, I am doing
all the talking. _You_ talk now."
"About Meredith, your dress, or you?"
"About yourself, if you please."
"It has seemed to me, Hilda, that you were even less interested in me
than you were in yourself."
Hilda looked round at him quickly, and he felt that his eyes held hers
with a force which almost compelled her--
"No; I am very much interested in you." Odd was silent, studying her
face with much the same expression that he had studied her gown--the
expression of painfully controlled emotion.
"There is nothing comparably interesting in me," he said; "I have had my
story, or at least I have missed my chance to have a story."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I mean that I might have made a mark in the world and didn't."
"And your books?"
"They are as negative as I am."
"Yet they have helped me to live." Hilda looked hard at him while she
spoke, and a sudden color swept into her face; no confusion, but the
emotion of impulsive resolution. Odd, however, turned white.
"Helped you to live, Hilda!" he almost stammered; "my gropings!"
"You may call them gropings, but they led me. Perhaps you were like
Virgil to Statius, in Dante. You know? You bore your light behind and
lit my path!" She smiled, adding: "I suppose you think you have failed
because you have reached no dogmatic absolute conclusion. But you
yourself praise noble failure and scorn cheap success."
"I didn't even know you read my books."
"I know your books very well; much better than I know you."
"Don't say that. I hope that any worth in me is in them."
"One would have to survey your life as a whole to be sure of that.
Perhaps you _do_ even better than you write."
"Ah, no, no; I can praise the books by that comparison." His voice
stumbled a little incoherently, and Hilda, rising, said with a smile--
"Shall we dance?"
In the terribly disquieting whirl of his thoughts, which shared the
dance's circling propensities, Odd held fast to one fixed kernel of
desire; he must hear from Hilda's lips why she had refused Allan Hope.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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