The curate shifted in his armchair, clasped and unclasped his hands.
A mental struggle was evidently going on within him. Indeed, during
the whole evening Malling had received from him a strong impression of
combat, of confusion.
"I wanted to continue the discussion we began at Mr. Harding's the other
day. You remember, I asked you not to tell him you were coming?"
"Yes."
"I think it's best to keep certain matters private. People so easily
misunderstand one. And the rector has rather a jealous nature."
Malling looked at his companion without speaking. At this moment he
was so strongly interested that he simply forgot to speak. Never, even
at a successful sitting when, the possibility of trickery having been
eliminated, a hitherto hidden truth seemed about to lift a torch in the
darkness and to illumine an unknown world, had he been more absorbed by
the matter in hand. Chichester did not seem to be struck by his silence,
and continued:
"And then not every one is fitted to comprehend properly certain matters,
to see things in their true light. Now the other day you said a thing
that greatly impressed me, that I have never been able to get out of my
mind since. You said, 'Harm can never come from truth.' I have been
thinking about those words of yours, night and day, night and day. Tell
me--did you mean them?"
The question came from Chichester's lips with such force that Malling was
almost startled.
"Certainly I meant them," he answered.
"And if truth slays?"
"And is death the worst thing that can happen to a man, or to an
idea--some wretched fallacy, perhaps, that has governed the minds of
men, some gross superstition, some lie that darkens counsel?"
"You think if a man lives by a lie he is better dead?"
"Don't you think so?"
"But don't we all need a crutch to help us along on the path of life?"
"What! You, a clergyman, think that it is good to bolster up truth with
lies?" said Malling, with genuine scorn.
"I didn't say that."
"You implied it, I think."
"Perhaps if you had worked among men and women as much as I have you
would know how much they need. If you went abroad, say to Italy, and saw
how the poor, ignorant people live happily oftentimes by their blind
belief in the efficacy of the saints, would you wish to tear it from
them?"
"I think we should live by the truth, and I would gladly strike away a
lie from any human being who was using it as a crutch."
"_I_ thought that once," said Chichester.
The words were ordinary enough, but there was something either in the
way they were said, or in Chichester's face as he said them, that made
Malling turn cold.
To cover his unusual emotion, which he was ashamed of, and which he
greatly desired to hide from his companion, he blew out a puff of cigar
smoke, lifted his cup, and drank the rest of his coffee.
"May I have another cup?" he said. "It's excellent."
The coffee-pot was on the table. Chichester poured out some more.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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