"You may get a wrong impression. Two years ago he was another man.
Strangers, of course, may not know it, not realize it. But we who have
lived with him do know it. Mr. Harding is going down the hill."
There was a note of deep sadness in his voice. Had he been speaking of
himself, of his own decadence, his tone could scarcely have been more
melancholy.
And for long Malling remembered the look in his eyes as he drew back to
shut his door.
In the rain Malling walked home as he had come. But now it was deep in
the night and his depression had deepened. He was a self-reliant man, and
not easily felt himself small, though he was not conceited. To-night he
felt diminished. The worm-sensation overcame him. That such a man as
Chichester should have been able to convey to him such a sensation was
strange, yet it was from Chichester that this mental chastisement had
come. For a moment Chichester had towered, and at that moment Malling
surely had dwindled, shrunk together, like a sheet of paper exposed to
the heat of a flame.
But that Chichester should have had such an effect on him--Malling!
If Mr. Harding was going down the hill, Chichester surely was not. He had
changed drastically since Malling had known him two years ago. In power,
in force, he had gained. He now conveyed the impression of a man capable,
if he chose, of imposing himself on others. Formerly he had been the wax
that receives the impress. But whereas formerly he had been a contented
man, obviously at peace with himself and with the world, now he was
haunted by some great anxiety, by some strange grief, or perhaps even by
some fear.
"Few men know how terrible the face of the truth can be."
Chichester had said that.
Was he one of the few men?
And was that why now, as Malling walked home in the darkness and rain, he
felt himself humbled, diminished?
For Malling loved knowledge and thought men should live by it. Had truth
a Medusa face, still would he have desired to look into it once, would
have been ready to endure a subsequent turning to stone.
That Chichester should perhaps have seen what he had not seen--that
troubled him, even humbled him.
Some words of Professor Stepton came back to his mind: "If there's
anything in it, development will take place in the link." And those last
words: "If in doubt, study Lady Sophia."
Mailing was in doubt. Why not follow Stepton's advice? Why not study Lady
Sophia?
He resolved to do it. And with the resolve came to him a sense of greater
well-being. The worm-sensation departed from him. He lifted his head and
walked more briskly.
V
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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