The Electric Man: Being the One Act Version of the Three Act Farcical Comedy of the Same NameHannan, Charles
Science
The Electric Man: Being the One Act Version of the Three Act Farcical Comedy of the Same Name
Hannan, Charles
Comedy plays; Drama; Robots -- Drama
WALTER. After I went out--before I came home? Did I speak?
STELLA. No.
WALTER. It’s as plain as a pikestaff, it’s come home!
STELLA (_slowly and firmly_). I believe you’re right. Now I’ve seen you
both I’ll never mistake again.
WALTER. It must be somewhere on the premises now.
(_They hurriedly look about under furniture, and meet and collide up
C., and say, “Oh!” Noise in china cupboard._)
WALTER. It’s in the bedroom. Run down to Mrs. Anderson and borrow the
very largest blanket.
STELLA. Why?
WALTER. I want something to throw over it.
(_STELLA exit D. in F._)
WALTER (_listens to fresh sounds_). No! It’s in the china cupboard!
(_A wooden hand with fingers extended is mysteriously thrust out of
china cupboard door. He gets a plate and smashes it on this hand,
which is at once withdrawn. This can be done with a real hand and
smash plate on door near it._)
(_He quickly turns key._)
WALTER. Got it--got it!
(_He jubilantly dances down C., then goes and calls out D. in F._)
Stella, Stella, I’ve locked it in the china cupboard. I don’t want
the blanket. (_Returns._) Gone in the kitchen, I suppose! (_Takes up
parcel._) Change my coat at last and get away! (_Goes into bedroom L._)
(_Immediately on his exit a loud smashing in china clipboard, then
the door flies into splinters and is knocked down, and AUTOMATON
enters quickly, hurries right round C., and into bedroom after
WALTER._)
WALTER (_within, as loud noise in bedroom_). Hi! stop!
AUTOMATON (_within_). Yow-yow.
WALTER (_rushing in, dressed in black coat_). By Jove! what an escape!
(_JACK, carrying blanket of green flannel or red, enters with STELLA,
who has gag and handcuffs--enter D. in F._)
(_WALTER makes signs to them, pointing to bedroom and beckoning them
to follow him there._)
JACK. Is that it?
STELLA. Yes, yes, Jack, yes!
(_JACK throws blanket over WALTER, and they get him on chair C._)
JACK. Hurrah! we’ve got him now! (_Business: secure him with rope round
his legs and gag, then take blanket off._) (_WALTER, gagged, groans._)
No more climbing tall chimney stacks! (_WALTER groans._)
STELLA. Is it in pain?
JACK. Of course not.
STELLA. It groans so!
JACK. Rather mad at being caught.
STELLA. Is it wax-work?
JACK. More like indiarubber. I suppose you do see the difference this
time?
STELLA. Rather.
JACK. That’s not flesh and blood. (_Pulling its nose._)
STELLA. It seems to want to explain something.
JACK. It will never get the chance of that. (_Lighting a candle from
mantel R._)
STELLA. Poor thing! are you tired of living? (_Groan._)
JACK. How can it answer you?
STELLA. I believe it could if you took the gag out of its mouth.
JACK. Hold the candle under its nose. (_Groan._)
STELLA. No, no, no! (_JACK puts candle on table._)
JACK (_with pin from waistcoat_). I want to see what it will do when I
stick this pin in it. (_Groan._)
STELLA. No, no!
JACK. In its leg, you can nip its arms and legs. (_Does so--groan._)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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