BDELYCLEON. Will you never cease showing yourself hard and intractable, and especially to the accused? You tear them to pieces tooth and nail. PHILOCLEON. Come forward and defend yourself. What means this silence? Answer. SOSIAS. No doubt he has nothing to say. BDELYCLEON. Not so, but I think he has got what happened once to Thucydides, when accused;[103] his jaws suddenly set fast. Get away! I will undertake your defence.--Gentlemen of the jury, 'tis a difficult thing to speak for a dog who has been calumniated, but nevertheless I will try. 'Tis a good dog, and he chivies the wolves finely. PHILOCLEON. He! that thief and conspirator! BDELYCLEON. But 'tis the best of all our dogs; he is capable of guarding a whole flock. PHILOCLEON. And what good is that, if he eats the cheese? BDELYCLEON. What? he fights for you, he guards your door; 'tis an excellent dog in every respect. Forgive him his larceny; he is wretchedly ignorant, he cannot play the lyre. PHILOCLEON. I wish he did not know how to write either; then the rascal would not have drawn up his pleadings. BDELYCLEON. Witnesses, I pray you, listen. Come forward, grafting-knife, and speak up; answer me clearly. You were paymaster at the time. Did you grate out to the soldiers what was given you?--He says he did so. PHILOCLEON. But, by Zeus! he lies. BDELYCLEON. Oh! have patience. Take pity on the unfortunate. Labes feeds only on fish-bones and fishes' heads and has not an instant of peace. The other is good only to guard the house; he never moves from here, but demands his share of all that is brought in and bites those who refuse. PHILOCLEON. Oh! Heaven! have I fallen ill? I feel my anger cooling! Woe to me! I am softening! BDELYCLEON. Have pity, father, pity, I adjure you; you would not have him dead. Where are his puppies? Come, poor little beasties, yap, up on your haunches, beg and whine! PHILOCLEON. Descend, descend, descend, descend![104] BDELYCLEON. I will descend, although that word, "descend," has too often raised false hope. None the less, I will descend. PHILOCLEON. Plague seize it! Have I then done wrong to eat! What! I to be crying! Ah! I certainly should not be weeping, if I were not blown out with lentils. BDELYCLEON. Then he is acquitted? PHILOCLEON. I did not say so. BDELYCLEON. Ah! my dear father, be good! be humane! Take this voting pebble and rush with your eyes closed to that second urn[105] and, father, acquit him. PHILOCLEON. No, I know no more how to acquit than to play the lyre. BDELYCLEON. Come quickly, I will show you the way. PHILOCLEON. Is this the first urn? BDELYCLEON. Yes. PHILOCLEON. Then I have voted. BDELYCLEON (_aside_). I have fooled him and he has acquitted in spite of himself. PHILOCLEON. Come, I will turn out the urns. What is the result? BDELYCLEON. We shall see.--Labes, you stand acquitted.--Eh! father, what's the matter, what is it? PHILOCLEON. Ah me! ah me! water! water! BDELYCLEON. Pull yourself together, sir!