"It’s not looking farther ahead than a girl has to. It’s easy enough to
talk. There _you’d_ be, able to walk off without a sign on you; whereas
I’d have to lie down and die or—or find some one else."
"Well, there’d be that possibility, wouldn’t there? They’re not so
difficult for a pretty girl to find when—"
She stamped her foot.
"I hate you!"
"Oh no, you don’t, Jennie. You love me—only, you won’t let yourself—"
"And I never will—never—never—never! Not if I was starving in the
streets—so help me God!"
She was running toward the model’s exit when he called after her.
"Then you leave me to work with another woman, Jennie—another woman
sitting in your place—another woman—" When she threw him a despairing
glance he snatched the sketch from the table and held it up to her.
"Another woman—dressed like that!"
But out on the stairs she paused. Anger was giving place to fear. It
was, first of all, a fear of the other woman _dressed like that_, and
then it was a fear not less agonizing of the loss of her six a week.
Her six a week was all that stood between Jennie and the not very
carefully veiled contempt of the family. In the testing to which the
past half year had subjected them all, Jennie had not made very good.
Six a week had been her measure. For obscure reasons which none of them
could fathom, she had proved incapable of really lucrative work. She had
tried to get employment with other artists who would leave her free for
her hours with Wray, but she had failed. She had failed, too, in stores,
factories, offices, and dressmaking establishments. Perhaps they saw she
was only half hearted in her attempts; perhaps her air of helplessness
told against her. "She was too much like a lady," had been one
employer’s verdict, and possibly that was true. Whatever the reason, she
seemed a creature not primarily meant to work, but to be utilized in
some other way. The question was as to that way. "You’re splendid to
love," little Gladys had whispered one day, when Jennie was crying to
herself, and much in her recent experience confirmed this opinion. In
her applications for something to do, it had more than once been made
plain to her that money could be made by other means than by punching a
time clock at seven.
But she couldn’t retrace her steps and go back to Wray. She thought of
it. She had chosen to descend by the stairs instead of by the lift which
served the huge studio building, in order to give herself the chance of
changing her mind. She went down a few steps and stood still, then a few
more steps and stood still. If it had been only a question of the money
she might have swallowed her pride and returned to throw herself at his
feet.
But there was the other woman—_dressed like that_! He had dared to
invoke her. Well, let him invoke her. Let him paint her; let him do
anything he liked. She, Jennie, would break her heart over it; but it
would be easier to break her heart than go back.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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