I had, till now, known the Hebrew theology but through the platonising
refinements of Philo;—as, in like manner, for my knowledge of the
Christian doctrine I was indebted to my brother Epicureans, Lucian and
Celsus. Little, therefore, was I prepared for the simple majesty, the high
tone of inspiration,—the poetry, in short, of heaven that breathed
throughout these oracles. Could admiration have kindled faith, I should,
that night, have been a believer; so elevated, so awed was my imagination
by that wonderful book,—its warnings of woe, its announcements of glory,
and its unrivalled strains of adoration and sorrow.
Hour after hour, with the same eager and desultory curiosity, did I turn
over the leaves;—and when, at length, I lay down to rest, my fancy was
still haunted by the impressions it had received. I went again through the
various scenes of which I had read; again called up, in sleep, the bright
images that had charmed me, and, when wakened at day‐break by the Hymn
from the chapel, fancied myself still listening to the sound of the winds,
sighing mournfully through the harps of Israel on the willows.
Starting from my bed, I hurried out upon the rock, with a hope that, among
the tones of that morning choir, I might be able to distinguish the sweet
voice of Alethe. But the strain had ceased;—I caught only the last notes
of the Hymn, as, echoing up that lonely valley, they died away into the
silence of the desert.
With the first glimpse of light I was again at my study, and,
notwithstanding the distraction both of my thoughts and looks towards the
half‐seen grottos of the Anchoret, pursued it perseveringly through the
day. Still alive, however, but to the eloquence, the poetry of what I
read, of its connection or authenticity, as a history, I never paused to
consider. My fancy being alone interested by it, to fancy I referred all
it contained; and, passing rapidly from annals to prophecy, from narration
to song, regarded the whole but as a tissue of splendid allegories, in
which the melancholy of Egyptian associations was interwoven with the rich
imagery of the East.
Towards sunset I saw the boat of Melanius on its way, across the canal, to
my cave. Though he had no other companion than his graceful antelope, that
stood snuffing the wild air of the desert, as if scenting its home, I felt
his visit, even thus, to be a most welcome relief. It was the hour, he
said, of his evening ramble up the mountain,—of his accustomed visit to
those cisterns of the rock, from which he nightly drew his most precious
beverage. While he spoke, I observed in his hand one of those earthen
cups, in which the inhabitants of the wilderness are accustomed to collect
the fresh dew among the rocks. Having proposed that I should accompany him
in his walk, he led me, in the direction of the desert, up the side of the
mountain that rose above my dwelling, and which formed the southern wall
or screen of the defile.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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