enlivens joy and alleviates grief. It enlivens joy by presenting
another source of satisfaction; and it alleviates grief by insinuating
into the heart almost the only agreeable sensation which it is at that
time capable of receiving.
It is to be observed accordingly, that we are still more anxious to
communicate to our friends our disagreeable than our agreeable
passions, that we derive still more satisfaction from their sympathy
with the former than from that with the latter, and that we are still
more shocked by the want of it.
How are the unfortunate relieved when they have found out a person to
whom they can communicate the cause of their sorrow? Upon his sympathy
they seem to disburthen themselves of a part of their {15} distress:
he is not improperly said to share it with them. He not only feels a
sorrow of the same kind with that which they feel, but, as if he had
derived a part of it to himself, what he feels seems to alleviate the
weight of what they feel. Yet by relating their misfortunes they in
some measure renew their grief. They awaken in their memory the
remembrance of those circumstances which occasion their affliction.
Their tears accordingly flow faster than before, and they are apt to
abandon themselves to all the weakness of sorrow. They take pleasure,
however, in all this, and, it is evident, are sensibly relieved by it;
because the sweetness of his sympathy more than compensates the
bitterness of that sorrow, which, in order to excite this sympathy,
they had thus enlivened and renewed. The cruellest insult, on the
contrary, which can be offered to the unfortunate, is to appear to
make light of their calamities. To seem not to be affected with the
joy of our companions is but want of politeness; but not to wear a
serious countenance when they tell us their afflictions, is real and
gross inhumanity.
Love is an agreeable, resentment a disagreeable, passion; and
accordingly we are not half so anxious that our friends should adopt
our friendships, as that they should enter into our resentments. We
can forgive them though they seem to be little affected with the
favours which we may have received, but lose all patience if they seem
indifferent about the injuries which may have been done to us: nor are
we half so angry with them for not entering into our gratitude, as for
not sympathizing with our resentment. They can easily avoid being
friends to our friends, but can hardly avoid being enemies to those
with whom we are at variance. We seldom resent their being at enmity
with the first, though upon that account we may sometimes affect to
make an awkward quarrel with them; but we quarrel with them in good
earnest if they live in friendship with the last. The agreeable
passions of love and joy can satisfy and support the heart without any
auxiliary pleasure. The bitter and painful emotions of grief and
resentment more strongly require the healing consolation of sympathy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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