The Essays of Douglas JerroldJerrold, Douglas William
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The Essays of Douglas Jerrold
Jerrold, Douglas William
English essays -- 19th century
And what—if we listen to complaining patriotism—what is the evil born of
this? A loss of moral energy; a wasting away of national fibre. Believe
this melancholy philosophy, and national weakness came in (a moral moth
in the commodity) with silk stockings. Ere then was the bearing of man
more majestic in the eyes of angels! For then was the sword the type of
station, a gentleman no more appearing abroad without his rapier than a
wasp without its sting. Human life could not but lose part of its
dignity with its cold steel. What a fine comment on the charity, the
gentleness, the humanity of his fellow-men, did every gentleman wear at
his side! He was, in a manner, his own law-maker, his own executioner.
In the judgment of later philosophy, we are prone to believe that the
said gentlemen may appear, at the best, ferocious simpletons—creatures
swaggering “between heaven and earth,” with their hands upon their
hilts, ready and yearning for a thrust at those who took the wall of
their gentility. Ha! those, indeed, were the good old days! And then
came a whining, curd-complexioned benevolence, and in progress of time,
its thin, white, womanly fingers unbuckled the sword-belt of the bully,
and organised police. Sword-makers were bankrupt, and human nature lost
a grace!
Thus, it appears, the world has been from age to age declining in
virtue, and can only escape the very profound of iniquity by a speedy
dissolution. Every half dozen years or so, a prophet growls from a
cellar, or cries from the altitude of a garret, the advent of the last
day. An earthquake, or some other convulsion (the particulars of which
are only vouchsafed to the prophet) is to destroy the earth or London at
least; whereupon old gentlemen remove to Gravesend, and careful
housewives take stock of their plate. Now, every such prophecy, instead
of bewildering honest people with all sorts of fears, and all sorts of
anxieties for their personal property, ought to make them sing
thanksgiving songs for the promised blessing. It being the creed of
these people that the world gets worse and worse, they would at least
have the comfort to know that they had seen the last of its wickedness.
For a moment, reader, we will suppose you one of these. Consider, upon
your own faith, what a terrible wretch will necessarily be your
great-great-great-great-great-grandson! Well, would it not be
satisfaction to you that this dragon (we believe dragons are oviparous)
should be crushed in the egg of the future? How would you like your own
flesh and blood inevitably changed by the course of time into the
anatomy of something very like a demon? You are bad enough as you are;
that dismal truth your own humility preaches to you; to say nothing of
the plain speaking of your neighbours. No; out of pure love and pity for
humanity, you ought to wish all the world to stop with your own pulse.
It is hard enough now, even for the best of us, to keep on the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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