_Crimp._ Tole you so. Dar aint no inception about dis chile: he's de sole ob honor. (_Comes down._) Now, w-w-what's a-gon to be did? Missy Cap'n sends me away down here, in dis yer benighted regium, to bring a letter to Massa Rob. Tote about forty mile afore I find him, and den he's on guard. 'Twon't do to gib him de letter now: these sojer fellars so stiff onto de tictacs, dat if I was to gib him de letter, jes as likely to put de bagonet into me, or blow my head off, as not. No, sar: Crimp don't take no risks in dis yer camplain; no, sar, I'm obleeged to you. I'll wait till he's reliebed. Missy Cap'n say, gib 'im de letter, and den lay round, and see what de colonel was about. I'll hab a smoke (_takes out pipe, lights it_), an' I'll lay round. (_Takes the American flag, and wraps it round him._) Glory, hallelujah! dat's de warmest cobering dat eber a darkey got into. Yaas indeed. It am de protector ob virtue. Dat's me. (_Takes a knapsack for a pillow._) I'l jles hab a snooze into de corner, till Massa Rob is reliebed. (_Lies down._) Hi! das a heap ob comfort in de arms ob Morphine. (_Smokes._) 'Spect Missy Gaylie tink a heap ob dat ar Massa Rob. Oh, lub, lub! when you got into dat Miss Gaylie's heart, you jist found de warmest place in de whole world. Yaas, indeed! (_Drops pipe._) Dar going to be some fun, down dar in Grainlow. By golly! de Home Guard am gwine to commence operations. Now, Massa Colonel, mind your eye; for de Home Guard am onto de war-path. _Rob._ Halt! Who goes there? (LIEUT.-COL. BOXER _enters_ L., _passes the window to door_. ROB _salutes_. BOXER _enters_.) _Boxer._ The colonel away still? Hallo! (_Snuffs the air._) Tobacco, and pipe-tobacco too! Smoking in my quarters! Bah! who is it? I won't have it. If there's any thing I detest, it's smoking; under my very nose too. Here, sentinel! (ROB _steps inside door_.) Have you been smoking? _Rob._ I never smoke, sir. _Boxer._ Right: it's a filthy habit. But somebody's been here with a pipe. Now, mind, no more of it. Let no smokers pass that door. 'Tis a strict order which must be obeyed. That's all. (ROB _salutes, and retires_.) Plague take the fellow, whoever he is! The smoke of battle is inspiring; gunpowder is soothing to the nerves; but tobacco-smoke, bah! it makes me sick. [_Exit_ L. _Crimp_ (_raising his head_). By golly! dat ar hossifer am riled. Don't like smoke. He's proficient in a liberal heducation, he am. (_Drops head._ GEN. GRANT _appears_ L., _slowly passes window, and crosses to door, is stopped by_ ROB.) _Rob._ Halt! _Grant._ I have business with the colonel. _Rob._ The colonel is absent. _Grant._ Then I will await his return. _Rob._ Halt! I have my orders. No smokers can enter here. If you would pass, put out that cigar.