_Crimp._ Hallo, Hi-_ram_! am dat you? Jes' you come down to de barn wid me. I'll show you, free gratis, for nuffin, no extra charge, and no postfonemet, de greatest dissemblage ob sky—sky—sky—what dat man call 'em? _skyrotechnicks_, golly! rickets, fourteen pounders, and—and Rum-and-candles, and—and Bungola lights, and squabs, and bombs—golly! Jes' busters; de take de roof right off; yaas, indeed! Come down, do, Hi-_ram_: gwine to let 'em shoot slam bang, when de boys come home. _Hiram._ That's right, Crimp: give them a welcome. _Crimp._ Yaas, indeed, Hi-_ram_! gwine to make 'em smell brimstone. I tole you. Serve 'em right: wish we could get up a yearthquake: wouldn't be a bit too good for 'em. Come on, Hi. I say, Hi-_ram_, am you any relation to ole Jim? he was de highest old ram eber I see. Yah, yah, yah! (_Exit_, C., _laughing, followed by_ HIRAM. _Enter from_ L., ROWELL.) _Rowell._ And so the war is over, and the boys are marching home, and with them comes, of course, Mr. Rob Trueworth. Hang the luck! I fear that fellow's appearance. Two years ago I resigned my command in the army for two reasons. First, an unfortunate _rencontre_ with Trueworth, whom I kept in the ranks after he had been several times honorably mentioned, awakened the suspicions of Grant, and a court-martial was threatened; second, a very pressing invitation from Gaylie to return, the pretext being business which required my assistance, but the real motive, an evident desire for my society. Of the first reason, I took good care to let her know nothing; and having the postmaster, Hosea Jenks, well under my thumb, I am sure she has received no hint from Trueworth. She has evidently repented of her folly, and takes kindly to my presence. Never a word about Rob Trueworth. Yet I seem no nearer the attainment of my heart's desire, than when I returned. I have assiduously courted her: we walk, ride, and sail together. I am attentive, devoted, and she enjoys every thing. But, when I speak of love, she evades it, or talks of her freedom, or we are interrupted. I will speak plainly: she must be bound to me ere he returns, or I fear my two-years' campaign will be wasted. Ah! here she is. (_Enter_ GAYLIE, L.) _Gaylie._ Oh, isn't it glorious! the war is over. (_Sees_ ROWELL.) Why, colonel, is that you? Have you been waiting long? I'm so sorry. _Rowell_ (_taking her hand_). Yes: I have been waiting long, two years, Gaylie, to give you full assurance that I love you. Is my love returned? _Gaylie_ (_excitedly_). Returned! O colonel! have you heard the news? Our brave soldiers have returned; that is, they are coming home to-night, crowned with victory. Oh, I'm so happy! ain't you? _Rowell._ Gaylie, I am miserable. _Gaylie._ Because they are coming home? Oh, fie! colonel. And you a soldier?