"When your father comes home we must decide what profession you shall
follow, my Dominic," it had been his mother's habit to declare. But,
even before the time for such decision arrived the boy had begun to
understand he must see to all that unaided. For his mother was ill, how
deeply and in what manner he could not tell. He shrank, indeed, from
all clear thought, let alone speech, on the subject, as from something
indelicate, in a way irreverent. Her beauty remained to her,
notwithstanding a gradual wasting as of fever. A peculiar, very
individual grace of dress and of bearing remained to her likewise. But
she was uncertain in mood, the victim of strange fancies, a being
almost alarmingly far removed from the interests of ordinary life. Long
ago, in submission to her husband's anti-clerical prejudices, she had
ceased to practise her religion, so that the services of the Church no
longer called her forth in beneficent routine of sacred obligation. Now
she never left the house, living, since poor Pascal Pelletier's death,
in complete seclusion. Little wonder then that a hush fell on Dominic
crossing the threshold, since so doing he passed from the world of
healthy action to that of acquiescent sickness, from vigorous
hoarse-voiced realities to the intangible sadness of unrelated dreams!
The effect was one of rather haunting melancholy; and it was
characteristic of the lad that he did not resent it, though rejoicing
in the reputation at school of being high-spirited enough, impatient of
restraint or of any frustration of purpose. His mother had always been
sacred. She remained so, even though her sympathies had become
imperfect, and she moved in regions which his sane young imagination
failed to penetrate. One thing was perfectly plain to him, though it
cut at the root of ambition--namely, that he could not leave her. So,
in that matter of a profession, he must find work which would permit of
his continuing to live at home; and, since her income was narrow, the
work in question must make no heavy demand in respect of preliminary
expense.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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