have suffered in moral and spiritual conflict, let alone all question
of active dread, was to her son almost too cruel to contemplate,
although it explained and justified much.
In 1860, when Dominic was a schoolboy of fourteen, his father left home
on one of those sudden journeys the object and objective of which were
alike concealed. For about a year letters arrived at irregular
intervals, hailing from Paris, Naples, Prague, and finally Petersburg.
Then followed silence, broken only by rumours furtively conveyed by a
former associate, one Pascal Pelletier--an angel-faced, long-haired,
hysteric creature, inspired by an impassioned enthusiasm for infernal
machines and wholesale slaughter in theory, and, in practice, by a
gentle doglike devotion to Mrs. Iglesias and young Dominic. He would
arrive depressed and shadowy in the shadowy twilights. But, once in the
presence of the beings whom he loved, he became effervescent. His
belief was unlimited in the Head Centre, the Chief, in his demonic
power and fertility of resource. That any evil should befall
him!--Pascal snapped his thin fingers; while, with the inalienable
optimism of the born fanatic, he proceeded to state hopeful conjecture
as established fact, thereby doing homage to the spirit of delusion
which so conspicuously ruled him even to his inmost thought. But a
spell of cold weather in the winter of 1862 struck a little too
shrewdly through Pascal's seedy overcoat, causing that tender-hearted
subverter of society to cough his life out, with all possible despatch,
in the third-floor back of a filthy lodging-house off Tottenham Court
Road.
This was the end as far as information went, whether authentic or
apocryphal. But Dominic, his horizon still bounded by the world of
school, greedy of distinction both in learning and in games, away all
day and eagerly, if somewhat sleepily, busy over the preparation of
lessons at night, was very far from realising that. Poor voluble
kind-eyed Pascal he mourned with all his heart; yet the months of his
father's absence accumulated into years almost unnoticed. The same
thing had so often happened before; and then, at an unlooked-for
moment, the wanderer had returned. Moreover, the old habit of obedience
was still strong in him. It was understood that concerning his father's
occupations and movements no comment might be made, no questions might
be asked.
Meanwhile, the small house in Holland Street was ever more still, more
unfrequented. As he grew older Dominic became increasingly sensible of
this--sensible of a sort of hush falling on him as he crossed the
threshold, so that instinctively he left much of his wholesome young
animality outside, while his voice took on softer tones in speech, and
his quick light footsteps became more scrupulously noiseless as he ran
up the little crooked stairs.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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