The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)Bordeaux, Henry
General
The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)
Bordeaux, Henry
French fiction -- Translations into English
Our early youth, for which death scarcely exists, knows nothing of
the value of days. It thinks our strength inexhaustible and squanders
it idly. When we begin to see, around us and in us, the charm and the
sadness of transient things, we feel life in all its fulness because
we are amazed at the incessant flight of time. Our days are numbered.
But the divisions of time are purely conventional. How many days do we
lose when again the fervor of life concentrates itself in a few minutes
of consciousness? The last minutes that we are destined to live may be
the most intense. They may become an important part of our existence
if we know that they are the last. They have this tremendous power of
summing up in themselves all our past days, of completing the design of
our life, of defining its outlines, and sometimes of revealing them for
the first time. They bring us the supreme opportunity to correct our
faults, to perform the most imperative duties which we have forgotten,
to mark the current of our thoughts which has been running to waste in
our ordinary pursuits. What right has anyone to steal these minutes
from us? It is indeed to steal them, if they are left to us, stripped
of their real importance. The man who is about to die should act like
a man who is about to die, not as a man who has plenty of time left.
You think, you doctors, to soothe him by hiding his danger from him;
you take away from him a part of his life whose importance could never
be measured in duration. He will waste his remaining strength, if he
has kept his mind intact, in guessing at the truth, in scrutinising the
blank faces around him, in questioning the throbs of his pulse, the
beating of his heart. He will be a prey to all the terrors of doubt,
when he has the right to finish his life by preparing for death. By
what right do you still decree that the question of his bequest alone
shall occupy him? What do you know of his thoughts, of his soul, of the
future life, of God? Who has solved these questions? And if you have
solved them for yourselves, where do you find the authority to solve
them for others? Do not take useless responsibilities on yourselves.
Everyone has his own, and that is sufficient. It is not for you to set
yourselves up as judges, to ask if the dying man has any affairs to
settle--he may have some of which you know nothing--you have no right
to choose your confidant, and to be inhuman and cruel. For it is not
human to injure life by deforming it, and it does deform it to banish
from it all thought of death, which gives it all its significance. A
beautiful death is the indispensable complement of a beautiful life,
and the ransom of a wicked one. Yes, we must raise ourselves above the
fear of death, and for that we must begin to see life as it is, so
that we may live bravely, fully, nobly. The fear of death is one with
the fear of living, which makes us shrink from the great efforts, the
boldness, and the sacrifices that life demands from us.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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