The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)Bordeaux, Henry
General
The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)
Bordeaux, Henry
French fiction -- Translations into English
“But you wish for a life of calm, I suppose, my dear Alice. You
don’t want a husband who goes about conquering the world. You have a
tranquil and peaceful nature. Will Marcel remain at Chambéry?”
“Father,” said the girl, remembering Paule’s lesson of heroism, “a wife
must help her husband and not hamper his career.”
“His career? Well, he can follow that near us. Chambéry is a garrison
that is very much sought after. He can exchange--nothing is easier--and
we have influence with the War Office. Or he might resign. But then he
has no money.”
Alice was silent, and her father, coming nearer, saw her tears. His
heart was stirred, and the real foundation of his nature was laid bare,
a nature which snobbishness and the habit of dependence had overlap. He
gently stroked his daughter’s face with his hand.
“Don’t cry, darling. I want you to be happy.”
But all his hankerings after self-assertion fled at once like birds
before the beater; for the door opened and Madame Dulaurens, having
at last gotten rid of Madame Orlandi and growing uneasy about Alice’s
prolonged absence, entered the study in her turn. The little imperious
air which had adorned M. Dulaurens’s face for his daughter’s benefit
was no more, and his final tenderness had gone. Instinctively he
assumed the modest attitude which suits a clerk in the presence of his
chief. Robbed of all conjugal courage and only wishing to avoid a
family scene, he fled with a well-turned phrase:
“I leave our daughter to you, my dear. She wants to get married and
will tell you all about it.”
Turning to Alice, he added:
“Here is your mother. Arrange matters with her. Whatever she does is
well done.” And with these words he effaced himself, above everything
anxious to be at peace with all the world.
Madame Dulaurens had not replied to her husband’s speech. For the first
time in her life she was jealous of him. Was he not mixing himself
up with Alice’s confidences? She loved her daughter with a selfish
and absorbing love, and by the continual encroachments of her power
as a mother had, little by little, extinguished (without noticing it
herself) the personality of this delicate, shrinking girl, already by
nature too indolent and overprone to unquestioning submission. She
enjoyed her daughter’s beauty as if it were her own possession, and
treated this young life precisely as though she had but a helpless
new-born infant to deal with. It was impossible for a guileless,
affectionate disposition not to recognise such unfaltering devotion and
not to be affected by it. Alice strove by her obedience to please her
domineering mother, whose eyes she felt incessantly upon her; but this
watchful regard was paralysing her with fear.
As the door closed on her husband Madame Dulaurens, glorying in the
impression she had made and already on her guard against the danger
which she guessed, came up to the girl and, putting her arms round her,
sat beside her on the chair.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account