The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)Bordeaux, Henry
General
The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)
Bordeaux, Henry
French fiction -- Translations into English
“Alice is hesitating by nature,” she continued. “She is still so
young--a mere child! There were other offers before yours. This is
a confidence, of course. They have this advantage that they would
not take our daughter from us. It is a great point in Alice’s eyes.
Nobility, fortune, all are there. If the Captain would only consent not
to leave Chambéry, to resign when necessary, to live near us, near you
too! Is he not surfeited with fame?”
Madame Guibert got up and said simply.
“I do not know, Madame. I thank you.”
She thanked her enemy for having tormented her needlessly! Never had
she felt so weak and so helpless. Madame Dulaurens, as she went to the
door with her, felt sorry for her and, satisfied with her victory,
overwhelmed her with congratulations on her health, on her children who
had formed a little France out in Tonkin, on Paule who was so beautiful
and distinguished, who did not come often enough to see Alice. She was
going to keep her daughter, so she could afford to be generous. On the
doorstep she seemed to be parting with her best friend with the best
grace in the world. Behind her trotted M. Dulaurens, bowing like a
little automaton.
Left alone again, Madame Guibert went down the long plane avenue. She
breathed freely, as if she had just escaped a great danger. That woman
had been unkind and hard to her. How instinctively she had known what
would wound her pride and delicacy of feeling. How she had fastened
upon her brother-in-law’s misfortune, which had made so great a demand
upon Dr. Guibert’s strength of will and presence of mind and which had
brought about the financial ruin of the family; upon the weariness
of that colonial expedition, over which Marcel’s splendid health had
triumphed. What a sinister interpretation she had put on these events
which were her glory! And yet she herself had brought the olive-branch
and had spoken gently. Life, her life of humble, daily devotion, had
not taught her that maternal love contracts the heart more often than
it widens it, otherwise she would have understood that it was this
warped feeling which had made Madame Dulaurens defend in every way her
threatened happiness, the happiness which she mistook in all good faith
for that of her daughter.
But solitude was not long much comfort to her. Must she not go back to
Le Maupas to tell her son the sad news? The thought of the pain which
she could not spare him, of which she brought the tidings, brought
to her eyes the tears which she had so long tried to keep back. The
sun’s rays crossed the tops of the thick trees, as slowly wended his
course towards the mountain. For the first time in her life it hurt
her to return to her old home, where she knew they were awaiting her
confidently and impatiently.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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