The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)Bordeaux, Henry
General
The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)
Bordeaux, Henry
French fiction -- Translations into English
Before the words had passed her lips he had suddenly seen a vision
of Paule in her mourning dress. Isabelle felt instinctively what
was passing in his mind. Jealously she came nearer and in her most
seductive voice said:
“What about my commission? Have you forgotten it?”
She offered her lips. He remembered, and as the colors of the dying day
mingled he gave her the promised commission under the trees.
Marcel never looked back till he arrived at the ascent to Le Maupas.
There he turned round and saw La Chênaie lying in the shadow, while
the mountains were still splendid in the light. A long, fleecy cloud
trailed half way up their sides like a torn scarf. From the dying sun
they caught a tint of rose so fine and delicate that it brought to the
mind’s eye a goddess of the Alps half hidden amid gauze and muslin.
He gave himself the cruel satisfaction of waiting till the shadows,
falling on the mountain tops, had destroyed this airy fantasy and
blotted out these delicate colors. In the sadness of surrounding nature
he seemed to breathe more freely. Quickly he crossed the half-stripped
wood, through whose trunks patches of fiery red sky could be seen.
Round him the owls, those sinister birds of night and autumn, began
to call to each other with their mournful screams, like the agonising
shrieks of victims, which strike terror into the hearts of belated
travellers.
He found his sister at the gate. Feeling anxious about him, she had
come to meet him. Paule knew at a glance the result of the interview.
“Oh,” was all she said.
In a word he told her.
“We are not of the same race,” he said.
She took his arm and was bending forward to kiss him when she stopped.
“Listen,” she said.
“Owls! The wood is full of them, Marcel. Let us go away. They make me
shudder. The peasants say they are a sign of death.”
He shrugged his shoulders indifferently.
CHAPTER X
MARCEL’S DEPARTURE
A family meal before a departure reminds us in its sadness of the first
meal we have together after the final disappearance of an habitual
guest. If no one is missing as yet, still joy has fled. Everyone tries
vainly to brighten it, and of this touching, fruitless effort is born a
deeper sadness.
Thus the dining-room at Le Maupas, in spite of the October sun which
shone into it, was silent and mournful. Marcel was going away at
nightfall in Trélaz’s carriage to catch the six o’clock train at the
station. When the conversation languished nobody thought of taking it
up again. With a few unimportant words, spoken without enthusiasm, it
would falter back to life, only to die out once more. Marie, the old
servant, had prepared Marcel’s favorite dishes. Carrying them back
to the kitchen almost untouched, she murmured in a cross voice which
expressed her own sorrow:
“It isn’t right--it isn’t right. They want to starve themselves to
death!”
After lunch, Marcel went out with his sister.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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