Dissolve, image, dissolve!
Make no appeal to the hunter in my nature,
Leave me to self-reproach in my own time;
If I too promised more than you could meet,
Your beauty overrode my sense of fate
And fitness, with extravagant pretence.
Is it true that we were lovers once, or nearly?
Lovers should sleep together on one pillow
Clasped in each others arms with lip to lip,
Their bed should be a masterpiece of ease,
A mother-of-pearl embrace for its twin pearls.
But where do you sleep now, and where am I?
Disdaining all the comforts of old use
We fall apart, are made ridiculous.
You in your cell toss miserably enough
Under thin blankets on a springless couch,
And I two hundred miles away or further
Wallow in this feather bed,
With nothing else to rest my gaze upon
Than flowery wall-paper, bulging and stained,
And two stern cardboard signals “_God is love_,” and
“_I was a stranger and ye took Me in_,”
Ye took me in, took me in, took me in, ...
The train of my thought straggles, loses touch,
Piles in confusion, takes the longer road,
Runs anyhow, heads true only by chance.
Sacred Carnivals trundle through my mind,
With Rhyme-compulsion mottoing each waggon.
_God’s Love_, _the Holy Dove_, and _Heaven above_
_Sin_, _deadly Sin_, _Begin_, _the Fight to Win_
_Ye took me in_; _inn_; _inn_;—and now a jolt
Returns me consciousness, and weary Logic
Gathers her snapped threads up. A mouldy inn
Offensive with cockchafers, sour and musty,
All night the signboard creaks and the blinds bang,
The cupboards groan, the draught under the door
Flurries the carpets of this inn, this inn.
How I came here? Where else could I be bettered?
Loneliness drew me here and cloudy weather
With cold Spring rains to chill me through and through
Pelting across the mountains, purging away
Affection for a fault, restoring faith....
So God is Love? Admitted; still the thought
Is Dead Sea fruit to angry baffled lovers
Lying sleepless and alone in double beds,
Shaken in mind, harassed with hot blood fancies.
Break the ideal, and the animal’s left
Which this ideal stood as mask to hide.
Then the hot blood with no law hindering it
Drums and buffets suddenly at the heart
And seeks a vent with what lies first to hand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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