The Fifteen Comforts of Matrimony: Responses from MenVarious
General
The Fifteen Comforts of Matrimony: Responses from Men
Various
English literature -- 18th century; Erotic literature, English
Another that with Prudence, and with Cares,
Has mannag'd well his Family Affairs,
Govern'd his Wife and Children with that ease,
Which always kept the Family in peace;
His sons and Daughters educated so,
None better bred, none cou'd gentiler go:
The Sons are now set up to drive their Trade,
The daughters married, and their Fortunes paid.
One Son runs out, another takes ill ways,
For which their Father's Pocket always pays;
The Daughter's Husband breaks, and she must come
And live a burthen on him again at home;
Until the daily Cares that they impart,
Break first his Substance, and then break his Heart.
_The Tenth Comfort,_ &c.
One thinking to encrease the Joys of Life,
Marries a Beautiful young Buxom Wife;
But soon he finds himself grow cloy'd and weak,
Nor can he give her half those Joys she'd take,
He now Consumptive, Pale and Meagre grows,
While she complaining to her Parents goes;
Says _she can't Love him, such a one as he._
And now desires she may live sep'rately.
The poor fond Parents to him trudge in haste,
And reprimand him soundly for what's past.
He knows no Cause--Nor thinks he is to blame,
They tell him plainly she shall live with them,
And he allow her what is fit to have,
Which he must yield to if he'll quiet have.
_The Eleventh Comfort,_ &c.
Another has begun before her Time,
Tasted those joys--but still conceal'd her Crime
And now her Parents thinks her fit to Wed,
(The Man that has her's finely brought to Bed,)
Some hopeful Youth of Equal Worth is found,
And soon his Suit with glad Success is crown'd,
The Marriage Articles next agreed,
And the Impostor _Virgin_ sooth'd to Bed;
The Am'rous _Bridegroom_ on the Wanton flies,
Who modestly his first Attempt denys;
Again he moves her, she denys again,
_Crys Lord I never shall endure a Man_:
But warmer grown, he rushes on the Bride,
And panting now, is but with Sighs deny'd,
She yields a little to dissemble more,
Knowing the part she'd acted once before:
Wwhile he good Man, so pleas'd with what he'as done,
Proclaims her Chastity to all the Town.
_The Twelfth Comfort,_ &c.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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