Critics -- Fiction; Interpersonal relations -- Fiction; Secrecy -- Fiction; Short stories, American; Women novelists -- Fiction
But this only helped me the more to be artful, to be adroit, to allow
time to elapse before renewing my suit. There were plenty of
speculations for the interval, and one of them was deeply absorbing.
Corvick had kept his information from his young friend till after the
removal of the last barrier to their intimacy—then only had he let the
cat out of the bag. Was it Gwendolen’s idea, taking a hint from him, to
liberate this animal only on the basis of the renewal of such a relation?
Was the figure in the carpet traceable or describable only for husbands
and wives—for lovers supremely united? It came back to me in a
mystifying manner that in Kensington Square, when I mentioned that
Corvick would have told the girl he loved, some word had dropped from
Vereker that gave colour to this possibility. There might be little in
it, but there was enough to make me wonder if I should have to marry Mrs.
Corvick to get what I wanted. Was I prepared to offer her this price for
the blessing of her knowledge? Ah that way madness lay!—so I at least
said to myself in bewildered hours. I could see meanwhile the torch she
refused to pass on flame away in her chamber of memory—pour through her
eyes a light that shone in her lonely house. At the end of six months I
was fully sure of what this warm presence made up to her for. We had
talked again and again of the man who had brought us together—of his
talent, his character, his personal charm, his certain career, his
dreadful doom, and even of his clear purpose in that great study which
was to have been a supreme literary portrait, a kind of critical Vandyke
or Velasquez. She had conveyed to me in abundance that she was
tongue-tied by her perversity, by her piety, that she would never break
the silence it had not been given to the “right person,” as she said, to
break. The hour however finally arrived. One evening when I had been
sitting with her longer than usual I laid my hand firmly on her arm.
“Now at last what _is_ it?”
She had been expecting me and was ready. She gave a long slow soundless
headshake, merciful only in being inarticulate. This mercy didn’t
prevent its hurling at me the largest finest coldest “Never!” I had yet,
in the course of a life that had known denials, had to take full in the
face. I took it and was aware that with the hard blow the tears had come
into my eyes. So for a while we sat and looked at each other; after
which I slowly rose, I was wondering if some day she would accept me; but
this was not what I brought out. I said as I smoothed down my hat: “I
know what to think then. It’s nothing!”
A remote disdainful pity for me gathered in her dim smile; then she spoke
in a voice that I hear at this hour: “It’s my _life_!” As I stood at the
door she added: “You’ve insulted him!”
“Do you mean Vereker?”
“I mean the Dead!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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