_Knap_. You know my Profession, Mr. _Shrimp_, and think you can't trespass on my modesty; but your praises are enough to put our whole Regiment out o'countenance, had we not quarter'd in _Ireland_.--The young Gentleman by his deportment seems to be the Darling of a Family, and Heir to a good Estate. _Tot_. I shall have Five Hundred a Year, Sir, when my Grand-mother gives up the Ghost; but at present she allows me but Eighteen Pence a Week for reading the Book of Martyrs to her, copying Receipts, and supporting her about the House. _Shr_. Eighteen Pence a Week! Why the Kitchin Wench gets more for her Coney Skins; but what allowance are you to have now, Master, you should have handsome Lodgings in _Pall-Mall_ Tutors to embellish you, dress out for _Whites_, keep a Chair by the Week, and an impudent Footman to knock down People before you. _Tot_. Ay, but my Grand-mother charg'd me on her Blessing never to go to that end o'the Town; she says, they are abominable Spendthrifts there; bid me remember the Prodigal Son, and has given me only a broad _Jacobus_ to pay for Post Letters, and a Hundred Pound Bill upon Sir _Francis_ to put me Clerk to an Attorney. _Shr_. Clerk to an Attorney! Why the Nation swarms with 'em; so many young Fellows now are bred to that Profession, Men, and their Wives are forc'd to go to Law to find bus'ness for their Children. _Knap_. Hang the Hundred Pounds; we'll spend it, Master, in showing you the Town, the Lyons, and the Tombs, the Bears, and the Morocco's, the Jew's Synagogue, and the Gyants at _Guild-hall_, my Lord-Mayor's great Coach, and my Lady Mayoress's great Tower. _Tot_. Shan't we go to the Play-house too, and see _Pinkeman, Bullock_, and _Jubilee Dicky_? _Knap_. Ay, and behind the Scenes too amongst the pretty Actresses; I must have you a smart Youth, understand the finish'd Vices o'the Town, learn to swear like a Gentleman of Ten Thousand a Year, few Men of Estates are bred to Conversation, game like a desp'rate younger Brother, several embroider'd Suits are known to live by't, drink abundantly to prevent dull-thinking, and Whore lustily to encourage the Dispensary that gives the poor Physick for nothing. Mr. _Shrimp_ here knows the World; and, I warrant, for cogging a Die, bullying a Coward, bilking a Hackney Coachman, and storming a Nest of Whores in _Drury-lane_, not a Master of Arts in either University can come near him. _Tot_. Fegs, so I will, they shan't think to cow me any longer; one cou'd never stir out o'the Room, but my Grand-mother was purring after a Body, and if she heard one got a little merry at _T. Totum_, with the Maids, she'd quaver out _Totty_, come, and say your Catechism;--_What is the chief End of Man?_ And upon ev'ry little Fault, she'd lock me up to get _Quarles's Emblems_ by heart, and threaten I shou'd lie in the great Room that's haunted, and never let one have any other diversion, than to hear the Chaplain play _Jumping Joan_ upon the Base Viol.