"I fear that this is an unusual way of looking at it, and that we are
all too accustomed to pass unchallenged our professed worship. Vice
may be so habitual and under such common sanction as to be mistaken for
virtue. But surely in the most vital matter of our intercourse with
God we do well to let every act be tested by the truth. It shall be so
tested eventually, whether we will or no; and even now in the midst of
the churches the Son of Man is walking, still with eyes of flame, and
still He is saying: 'I know thy works.'"
Winifred's next excursion in thought away from the sermon led her to
review her part of the morning program, and she wondered if the
minister thought of it too. The hymns?--she had forgotten what they
were. But the anthem--was it unto the Lord she sang her part? Was
there an atom of sincerity in the sentiment she sang? The words were
from a Psalm, she thought, and she did not really understand what David
meant. Had she any clearer ideas as to what Winifred Gray might mean?
She surely did not wish the wings of a dove, literally, nor to fly away
into the wilderness. She loved her home and many friends and had no
desire to escape from them or her surroundings. If it meant to fly
away to heaven--? Surely she did not wish that! The world and "the
things that are in the world" were very attractive to the young
soprano. She had no wish for heaven save as an alternative from hell.
What did it mean? Was it a heart-rest that David longed for? But she
had been conscious of no unrest--until just now. Honestly, the truth
was that she had not meant anything! Was it worship? But her friends
would tell her she sang it with feeling, she argued defensively, and
then asked herself candidly, what sort of feeling? She had sung
Mignon's song with equal sympathy the night before. She confessed the
truth; it was dramatic instinct that led her in both songs, and the
Spirit of God in neither.
"I am a hypocrite," she cried within herself, "and no true worshiper!"
Then she thought of the positive side of her action. While there was
no offering to God, she had received in her own heart the subtle
incense of the people's praise. Enveloped in its cloud she had sat
until the sermon disturbed her. She wished the young stranger had not
come to preach. Doctor Schoolman's sermons were nice, and learned, and
elevating, and never gave her such uncomfortable thoughts! Had he
preached this morning all might have gone on as before so pleasantly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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